Thursday, October 06, 2005

Stinky

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While there are many things that I love about the city of Austin, there are two things that I hate. The first, and lesser, one is the traffic. I know we all hate this so I am not even going to go into it. The second one is the ridiculous amount of times a day my nose is violated by the stench of hippies and or drag rats. For those of you who do not know, drag rats are the druggie/alcoholic presumably homeless people that hang out on Guadalupe street (a.k.a., the drag). Yesterday, for instance, I passed three people that smelled so bad I had to hold my breath for a while. The first two people were hippies and the second was a drag rat. I guess I would rather smell a dirty hippie than a drag rat because hippies usually only smell like body odor (and sometimes patchouli). The drag rats smell like a mixture of B.O., alcohol, stale cigarette smoke, dirt, vomit, and pee.
Because I hate traffic, I try to take the bus to school as often as I can. Yesterday, one of the worst things that can happen on a bus happened. I stepped into the bus and was surprised to see that there were some seats left. Normally, the seats are all taken and I am left standing. I started walking to the back of the bus, ‘cause that is where the cool kids sit, and the smell hit me as I passed the first row of seats. There was a drag rat on the bus and boy howdy did he STINK!!!! I got to the back of the bus and prayed that the stench would remain in the front of the bus, but noooooooo. Damn drag rat’s scent was just as strong in the back of the bus as it was in the front. It was like he was sitting right next to me! Everybody on the bus was miserable, except for the drag rat. I thought about getting off early and waiting for another bus, but that would mean I would have to wait in the sun for 45 min or so….screw that. I hoisted my shirt above my nose and thumbed through an avon catalogue to pass the time until I was able to escape the vile air of the capital metro.
I say…………BAN ALL STINKY PEOPLE FROM OUR BUSSES!

In other news.......Dale and I went to Savers last night to look for some 80’s clothing. We have 2 components of his intended outfit down, one or two components to go. Oh how I love the hunt!

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you should spear-head the BAN ALL STINKY PEOPLE movement. I'll join you in the cause even though I am a "North Austin" type of gal and hardly ever experience the vileness. On another note, I am so excited that you and Dale are dressing up. Several people have asked me if he was going to look like a pedophile again. I told them they would have to wait and see! :) Rach

10:12 AM  
Blogger webduke said...

Stinky people stink sometimes, but we all know at the end of the day stinky people are really just communist bastards with no class. Their power is in their potency, and we non-stinkers have a keen sense for their obtuse reality. We should keep our distance keeping in mind that they win when we hold our noses and point.

3:22 PM  

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