Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Steak Knife

I arrived home after a long day at work and began my afternoon chores. I took the dogs outside, fed them, and began doing the dishes. As I was rinsing a steak knife I heard what sounded like the opening of the door that leads from my garage into my house.
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I gripped the knife and walked to the entryway of my living room. I said, “hello?” Though I could not make out what he said, I heard a muffled voice of a man in response.

This cause the adrenaline to start pumping and for some reason, I became angry. Very angry. “Helllllo???” I screamed. I waited a beat and then shouted, “come on, mother fucker!”
The dogs were by my side, growling and snarling….ready to attack. I opened the doggy gate allowing them into the living room…into battle.
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I expected the pups to enter the living room and take a right into the hallway that leads to the door I thought had been breached.
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The Hall....it's where I stash my hula hoops...

Instead, they turned right and began barking like crazy. Then, I heard a screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeach. I followed the dogs into the big living room and found them at the large window barking at the men trimming my neighbors tree. A branch had scratched at the window pane on it’s way down to the ground.
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The men were right outside these windows

Nobody broke in. The muffled voices belonged to the men outside. I'm not sure why I assumed the noise I heard was somebody trying to break into my house via the garage entryway, but I did just exactly that.

The sound of their chainsaws hopefully prevented them from hearing me scream unnecessary obscenities.

Yes, I do understand that I am tragically wack-a-doo and should never try and chase off potential burglars/rapists/murderers with a small steak knife and curse words.

But the fight or flight response is biological and I’m all fight. This is probably because I am not very fast. If I were to run, I would get caught anyway so I might as well put my dukes up.

And my steak knife.


Bonus Pic:
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That's my hand holding the steak knife and that is my loving husband, Dale.
Dale did not know I took this until I showed it to him minutes before posting it on my blog. To me, that makes the picture all the more awesome.

: )

4 Comments:

Blogger "Miss Bee" said...

Fear makes us do irrational things. But your irrational things are funnier than most peoples.

Glad nobody was breaking in. Although I'm pretty sure Charlie could take care of an intruder.

7:56 PM  
Blogger GunDiva said...

Love the last picture :)

You are so right, Dale not knowing you were taking it makes it so much funnier.

10:33 PM  
Blogger Kimberly June said...

OH scary moments like these remind us that we are alive and will do what it takes to stay that way!

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm printing out the last picture now...

just in case I'm called to testify.

xx
Laurie

3:20 PM  

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