Tuesday, June 14, 2005

ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba, l Want to BE SEDATED!

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claus tro•phobe (Noun) A person who suffers from an abnormal fear of being in narrow or enclosed spaces.

. Gather round now, my little sugar puffs, and I’ll tell you a lil’ story. The story is a good one, because it is 100% true.
Sunday afternoon Dale, Josh, Lee and myself got ready to go to Josh’s compound to set up a pool table. Dale has a Mazda pickup with a tiny cab in the back that can seat two people. When two people sit back there, unless they are Mary Kate and Ashley, they have to sit facing each other and due to lack of space their knees touch. Dale’s truck was in the garage. The bed was filled with the pool table components. Josh and Lee had already squeezed themselves into the back. Dale was in the front driver’s seat ready to go. I came up to the passenger side and looked in. Immediately, my heart started racing which was followed by a lovely cold sweat.

Dale realized right away what was happening to me as he has seen me go through this before. He moved his giant cd case out of the truck and placed the 18 pack of beer that was on the floorboard (on my side of the vehicle) in the back with the boys. Still, I could not bring myself to get in.
Each time I tried, I would stick my torso about ¼ of the way in and quickly back out.
I thought “maybe if Dale pulls the truck out of the driveway, I won’t feel so cramped”. SO I asked him to do so and he complied.

After about a minute of trying I finally forced myself in the truck.

Here is the thing. I do not fell so claustrophobic in a cramped vehicle if it is on the highway. Our little troop, however, had to make two stops. On the way to Michaels, I rode in the truck with my arms and head sticking out. When we had to stop for lights, which happened 4 times, I felt the urge to stick my entire torso out the window…..which I did (how embarrassing).
Seriously, it felt like a 200lb person was sitting on my chest! I could not breath, I was panicked, my heart was racing, I was sweating, I even got tunnel vision a few times.

We pull up to Michaels and I ran in to get the shit for the pool table. While I was gone, Dale asked Lee, who was seated behind my seat, to try and move my seat back so that I would have more room. Lee, although he was already squashed like an accordion in full squeeze mode, was able to move my seat back a bit more.
When I got to the truck, Dale told me what they did. Too bad, this made things worse. See I was not only freaked about myself being cramped but seeing the boys packed in like a tin of sardines added to my anxiety. I had to move the seat back in its original position in order to get myself back into the hell mobile.

Next stop, Home Depot. Again, I went in. When I came back out and got in the car, Josh made a comment about his feat going numb. We were pulling out of the parking lot as he said so and I totally freaked out!

“Let me out, I have to get out!!” I Said as I clawed at the door handle. Dale sped off saying “there is no getting out Sarah”. This was smart, because If I got out at this point, I would have not gotten back in.
I almost started crying.
It sucked.
But, we got on 183 and things were ok…..eventually.

Yes, Elevators full of people make me nervous.
Yes, it took me about a dozen times of tanning in the bed to be able to pull the lid down over my body.
Yes, I have freaked out in a cramped car before. Once, I got out in the middle of Guadalupe. Another time, I tried to climb out of a sun roof.
Yes, I am going to be cremated when I die.
Yes, I am a freak.


Blogger sarahsmile3 said...

Oh yea, airplanes are torture for me. The thought of breathing in all of that circulated air freaks me out. I have to have drinks before I ride one of these unnatural creatures. One time, this old man in front of me kept slamming his body into his already fully reclined chair in an attempt to get more room. I freaked, as usual, and punched his seat back a few times.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Sweet Pea said...

Yeah, you're pretty much a freak...jk. Try 14 hours in a van with 15 kids :).

9:41 PM  
Blogger Sassypants said...

So, I'm wondering if you were ok when there were six people in Rachel's car when we went out for your birthday...maybe you were too tipsy to care. You know, drinks make all the difference.

2:57 PM  
Blogger j3 said...

i'm like this too...except it's because i'm slightly overweight and six feet tall.

i don't fit very well in most places.

5:28 PM  
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