Monday, November 19, 2007

claustrophobia strikes again

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Most of you know that I am claustrophobic. It really sucks, but it provides laughs for all when I tell the stories of my attacks.

You need to know that I am currently going to physical therapy twice a week. My left shoulder froze up a while back, causing me to walk around looking like this
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--but not as old
--and not as manly

Here we go…

Time: last week, after work

Setting: Physical Therapy- my therapist had escorted me to a room in the back of the facility. There was a table there with this odd looking machine. It looked a bit like this, but it was much larger and more mid-evil…
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Me: “What is that?”

Physical Therapist (PT): “Oh, that is a traction device. I thought we would try it today.”

Me: (a worried look crosses my brow) “Hmm…I gotta tell ya, that thing kinda freaks me out”.

PT: “Really? Are you claustrophobic?”

Me: “yes.”

PT: “well, do you think you can try it out?”

Me: “Sure, why not…”

The PT straps my head down and locks my neck into this vice….at least it was padded. Then, she turns it on and it slowly pulls my head up towards an incline. It holds it there for 40seconds (I counted) and then it slowly goes back down.

PT: “Are you ok?”

ME: “I think so….yeah!”

I was quite proud of myself. The PT went into the other room to deal with the other patients, leaving me alone with the device and my thoughts.

Slowly, the fear started creeping in like thick syrup oozing over your short stack. I tried to reason with myself, telling myself that I could do this.

Then, I swallowed and I could feel the muscles in my neck being held tightly by the vice. I cleared my throat and the vice felt tighter.

In a very illogical move, I attempted to try and get out of the device only to discover that there was no escape. My heart began pounding. I could feel the sweat building on my brow. My chest tightened and I decided to take action.

Me: “Somebody?” (pause) “Can anybody hear me?” (Pause) “Hello?” (Pause) “I NEED SOME HELP!” (pause) “LET ME OUTTA THIS THING!!!”

The PT Runs into the room to find me flailing my legs about like a dog having a dream and my fist clenched tighter that an inmates ass on shower day….

PT: “Oh my gosh! I AM SO SORRY!”


The PT frees me from the torture

PT: “Well, I guess we won’t be trying that again.”

ME: “I think I need a different type of therapy all together.”

End Scene


Anonymous Anonymous said...

me, lainie and even Colin...miss you.

1:11 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Um, it seems to me that even a non-claustraphobic should not be left in a head vice... alone... in a room... alone... ever.

I would have flailed, too. :)

3:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you sure you weren't abducted??

6:36 AM  

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