This may make me look bad

I had to go to Wally World, today, to buy a friend some weight watchers cookies for her birthday. It’s early in the morning and I am not up for chit chat, so I go to the self check out station. Right as I begin to scan my item, this employee comes up and says “would you like to donate $1.00 to the DELL Children’s hospital? I turn to look at him at he is shoving one of those paper hot air balloons in my face. You know the ones that you sign and then they hang them in their windows for all to see? I said no and he looked all disheveled and slunk away. Then, the stupid machine would not work and I looked up to find him and he was just staring at me like I was a piece of shit. I waved his sorry ass over and he SLOWLY made his way to my station, fixed the machine, and walked away without saying a word.

I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO MAKE ME DONATE MONEY WHEN I AM MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS IN THEIR PLACE OF BUSINESS!

It’s Guerrilla bullshit, and I hate it. I don’t like being ambushed. I mean, come to my front door like regular charity seekers so I can ignore you! Wait, scratch that. I hate that as well.

One time, I was buying a sixer at the diamond shamrock and the lady spewed out with “would you like to donate a dollar to children’s miracle network?” I politely said “no” and she replied with “really?” She said it like she was shocked. I said “Yes, really.”

Don’t try to guilt me into donating, bitch. I stopped going to that store after that.

I mean, listen…It’s not that I don’t like giving to charity. I give money to charity. I really do. Sometimes I give money to organizations through the internet. Sometimes I donate money for good causes like fight for the cure or the Aids research foundation or the Ronald McDonald house. Usually, I give these charities money when a jar is simply displayed on a counter in a local business. I am MORE likely to give money when I am not harassed for it. I've given to the Children's miracle foundation many times when there is the little jar.

I think I am going to start my own charitable organization. That way, when the people at gas stations or superstores pull this shit I can turn it right back on them and ask if they want to donate to my charity. How would they like that? Not so much, I’m guessing.

“No I would not like to donate to your charity, but would you like to make a contribution to the Dachshund foundation for healthy spines?”