Fat Pics

Quite often, I take pictures of my self (full body) to confirm my suspicion that I am, in fact, a fatty.

With the exception of this blog post, I don't publish these shots to my social media. Nope. They are for the sole purpose of fat shaming myself. 

In this one, I'm saying to myself "ugh...you are gross. Why do you eat so much candy?"

In this one I'm saying "Smiling burns more calories than just standing there looking like a fat worm."

Look for my book coming out some time in the near never.

"Fat Pics: The Self Shaming Diet You Control!"

Idle Hand

This week has been a doozy when it comes to pain. The pain is so severe, it feels like there is a force pulling my body down towards the ground. It's not at a level 10 (more like a 7-8) so I continue to go to work even though my body is screaming at me. I figure that it can scream at me at home or at work, either way it's going to scream and I need to get paid.

So, I spend some time every day laying on the thereputic half foam roll in my office. See:


As I  laid there on the foam roll, I got a little bored. That's when I noticed my bag of fingers:


And then the fun began:






That was fun while it lasted.

Tiny Man Baby Piano King: Haunter of my Dreams

This creepy ass painting is brought to you by the lobby of the Historic Faust Hotel in New Braunfels, Tx.

New Doctor, New Diagnoses

The other day, I was driving home from work and I had a sudden pain in my eye. It felt like something was in between my eye and eyelid. Something gritty, like sand. I got home and plucked my contacts out. When I looked closely at my eye, I noticed it looked irritated and there was a little "crud" gathering at the corner. I pulled the "crud out" and it turned out to be an inch long, thick strand of eye mucus.
So gross.

The next morning, I woke up and my eyelids were just about glued together thanks to the eye gunk.
The sclera of my eye was hot pink and I could see the tiny blood vessels crossing my eye and reaching out in all directions. I figured I had the contagious type of pink eye (discharge = contagious) so I called in sick (I work with special needs children) and made an appointment with my eye doctor.

After careful examination, my eye doctor told me that I didn't have pink eye. I had "extreme dry eye" and that my body was treating the inflammation as if it were infection. I told her I had been experiencing dry eyes frequently, but not something this bad. She said, "you get dry eyes frequently? well we need to do something about that." I said, "yeah, I get dry eyes and dry mouth. I even had to have a salivary gland removed because it was gettin' all crazy." She gave me a serious look. I said, "So are you thinking I have Sjogren's?"
I knew all about Sjogren's syndrome  ever since my first co-worker was diagnosed with it a few years ago. I had another co-worker diagnosed with Sjogren's shortly thereafter.

"Sjögren's syndrome is a chronic autoimmune disease in which a person’s white blood cells attack their moisture-producing glands. Today, as many as 4 million Americans are living with this disease."- Sjögren's Syndrome Foundation. 

I had to wear glasses for a week, so I took this cheesy "eye-commercialesque" selfie 

My eye doctor told me to get myself to a Rheumatologist to confirm a Sjogren's diagnosis and to see if I had Rheumatoid Arthritis, which can co-occur with Sjogren's.


But, before I could make that appointment, I had to visit a new back doctor guy. My general practitioner set me up with this new guy. After questioning and examining me, new guy dropped a bomb on me, ya'll! He said, "I don't think all of this pain is from your neck. I believe it's from your left shoulder. Let's get an MRI and a nerve conduction study to be sure."

I'm treading lightly here, not wanting to fall through the thin ice of false hope and into the frigid waters of disappointment. But, I can't help but think "what if it is my shoulder and they can fix it and then I become pain free?" Immediately after thinking such thoughts I try to stifle them. I shove them deep down as far back into my mind as they will go.

I've had my high hopes trampled on before, you see.

So now I wait for the MRI people to call me for an appointment. Ugh.,.  I am also waiting for the Nerve Conduction people to call me. I am NOT looking forward to that. I've had that done before and it was torture.

So, that's where I am right now.
Possible autoimmune disorder
Possible shoulder problems

How crazy is it that three co-workers, who spend a lot of time together, have the same autoimmune disorder? The 4th co-worker had thyroid problems (another autoimmune issue). We all drink the same, bottled water from the water cooler.

Somebody call Erin Brockovich.

Dwight

Dale and I recently purchased a 2011 Cadillac CTS. I know, it's pretty fancy. Yes, it's materialistic but I love that dang car. Every time I see it I smile. I love driving her and I love just looking at her. She is a beauty, let me tell you. Shiny black paint, black leather interior, all the bells and whistles. The best part is that it came with some preprogramed music in it's hard-drive. You see, you can add music to the hard-drive from a CD or USB thumb drive. The previous owner added a variety of artists, such as: the Scissor Sisters, Harry Nilsson, Led Zeppelin, David Bowie, and Dwight Yoakam.


I grew up listening to Dwight, falling in love with originals like Ain't that Lonely Yet,  Long White Cadillac, and  Please, Please Baby. I adored his covers of Suspicious Minds, Little Sister, and I Want You to Want Me. Having his music available in my car reignited the flame that once burned for Mr. Yoakam. After listening to his music while driving around, I ended up going deep down into a Dwight Yoakam worm hole. I found and purchased his highly acclaimed album  Guitars, Cadillacs, Etc., Etc. on vinyl. I watched Panic Room, Sling Blade, and The Last Rights of Ransom Pride. I watched several youtube videos of his live performances. I was deep into the Dwightness.

Then, one day I thought "hmm, I wonder if Dwight is playing Austin any time soon?"  I googled "Dwight Yoakam 2014 tour" and wouldn't you know that, at the time I searched, the man would be playing in New Braunfels (which is only a little over an hour away from Austin) in just a few weeks?

It was fate.

I immediately purchased tickets and marked the date on my calendar. Don't you just love having a good show to look forward to attending?

The show was set to end around midnight which would put us back in Austin around 1:30; prime time for drunk drivers. Instead of dealing with that mess, I decided to book a room at The Faust Hotel, a very old historic hotel in downtown New Braunfels. Some say it is haunted....muahahaha!

Hang on, I got off track. Back to Dwight (more on The Faust in my next post).

\
Dale and I at the show

The concert was at The Whitewater Amphitheater, an outdoor venue integrated into the river landscape. The setup was nice. You could see the stage from almost any angle. Bars were set up everywhere so you were only a few feet away from your next beer. People were pretty nice, especially when the contents of my purse dumped out (including the car keys and a tampon) without me knowing. "Is this bottle of eyedrops yours"? asked one young lady.

I ran into my friend Rob at the show. Rob and I have been friends since highschool. He is one of the funniest dudes I know. He traveled from Lubbock to New Braunfels to see  Mr. Yoakam. It was so good to hang out with Rob during the show! He made me laugh, dance, and drink a whiskey shot (pssst....I only took two sips and gave the rest to Dale).

Good ol' Robert

What's that? What about Dwight? How was the show?
FAN-FRICKEN-TASTIC!

He sounds better live than on his recordings. His voice is just amazing and his band is tiiiiiiiight! They played all the hits and some new tunes which were killer. The show was entertaining and invigorating from the first to the last chord. Oh, and yes.....his jeans were very tight. Very.

The man is getting close to 60 and he can still rock it out. This makes me very happy.

Moral of the story, sometimes it is good to go down a wormhole. You might find a surprise in there somewhere. Follow your instincts.

Woodland Creatures: Part 2

We made it into the "magical forest" and I, the photographer, have befriended these beautiful woodland creatures.













Awesome girls, big imagination, some crazy makeup, and a beautiful setting made this an unforgettable afternoon.

Woodland Creatures: Part 1

Back in 2012, I gave 2 of my nieces a glam rock makeover.
 
Zoe 2012- age 7


Lily 2012- age 5


Band name- "My Metal Pony"



The girls came to visit me, again, this summer. They are now 7 and 9. Here we all are with an American flag and a giant spider:


This year, we threw around a few ideas for a photoshoot. Ghosts, Fairies/Woodland Creatures, aliens, mermaids, etc. We settled on Woodland Creatures as we had been going on multiple hikes during their time with me in Austin. The setting of flowers, rocks, trees, creeks, and dirt inspired thier looks.

Here are a few beauty shots. I'll post the pics of them in the "magical forest" next.