Thursday, June 27, 2013

Tall Tax

My husband has been 6'3" since he was in the 7th grade. Can you imagine?  The average height of a 13 year old boy is 5'1 3'/4" (source). Young Dale towered over his friends. Now remember, kids at this age have an underdeveloped sense of humor.  All jokes have to do with a persons physical appearance.
 I am sure he had to hear about his height at least a dozen times a day. As a result, his shoulders slope down a little because he used to try to make himself appear shorter.
 I am pretty tall myself...just about 5'9". When I wear heels, look out! Amazon in the area! In my early twenties, I avoided wearing anything with a heel over 1 inch. I bought a fabulous pair boots with 3" heels but never wore them out. I would try them on and walk around the house, posing infront of the mirror and doing my best dance moves (and karate kicks) in the kitchen. My good friend and roommate, Clint, asked me why I never wore my heeled boots when we went out. I told him it was because they made me too tall....people stared at me like I was a freak. He said, "WHO CARES? LET THEM STARE. YOU ARE NOT A FREAK, YOU'RE AN AMAZON DARLING!" And with that, I put on my heels and never looked back.
Well, I looked back a little I guess. In my mid-twenties, I had a roommate that was probably 5'1". When I wore heels around her, I looked like a giant. I kept this in mind when trying on shoes. I would put on the heels in the store,  look for a short lady and stand next to her so I could get an idea of how much taller I appeared. If it looked like she was a child and I was a professional basketball player, I would put the shoes back and look for a smaller heel.
Around my husband, I can wear any size heel I want and he is still taller than me. I LOVE THIS! When I wear my tallest of heel, and I am with husband, we make quite the pair of giants. We don't notice it until we are around short folks. One time, we went to this shop to buy a hummel figurine for his mom. The shop was small and packed from floor to ceiling with brick-a-brac. The shop owner even had items hanging from the ceiling.  I was wearing my tall shoes when Dale and I walked in. We had to crouch down a little to avoid hitting the hanging ceramic cherubs with our heads. The shop owner herself was also very small. I felt like I was in a hobbit home. She approached us with her heard cocked back and her eyes wide and said, "Oh are both so tall!"

For my husband, being tall has it's credits and it's deficits. He can reach the top shelf in the store, but the average shower head is going to spray him in the neck and not the top of his head. He iseasy to locate in a crowd, but if he is at a concert he has to pay the TALL TAX.

Ah yes, the tall tax. The tall tax at a concert is what you must pay for being tall and blocking the view of many of the people behind you. If you ask him nicely, my husband will let your short self infront of him so that you can see the stage better. Now you are infront of him and he is further from the stage. Tall tax.  Not everyone is nice at a concert.  He has had ice thrown at his head before,  just for being tall. Tall tax. People have yelled things at him. Tall tax. At Robert Plant, somebody took their finger and pressed it into his back right where he recently had a mole removed. He turned around and made eye-contact with all the short bastards behind him to see if anyone would fess up. No one did. Bunch of cowards. He told me about this after the concert while we were on our way back to the car. Smart choice. If he told me during the show I would have lost my shit. I told him he was done paying the tall tax.  "It's BULLSHIT!" I yelled. When then came up with the following shirts that we should have made for him to wear to all concerts:
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Or how about this one?
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Maybe the text has to be lower on the this:
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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Robert Plant and the Sensational Space Shifters.

Dale and I went to see Robert Plant and his new band (The Sensational Space Shifters) this past Sunday.  First things first, here is what I wore:
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I was going back and forth between this outfit and one that was more of a "sexy hippy" look. I decided on this one because the shoes were more appropriate for standing on a concrete floor amongst a crowd for over 2 hours. That shirt was purchased in the Juniors section at a Ross Dress for Less. I don't care, I love it!

Now, on to the show. I took about 10 cell phone pictures during the entire show. I refuse to be that person that can't put their phone down during the entire performance, focusing more on their picture than the show. I mean, it's a cell phone camera in low light. You are not going to get amazing pictures. The guy in front of me video recorded the entire show on his cell phone camera. We were four rows back from the stage yet Steven Spielberg over here chose to watch the show through the tiny screen of his phone. UNBELIEVABLE!!! I hate when people do this because it messes with the view. You know how a bunch of billboards along a highway can mess up the view of a city? Same thing with people in the crowd holding up a bunch of cell phones. I'm ok with photographers taking photos with their fancy cameras. I've taken my SLR to more than one show. The photographer takes his shot without annoying the crowd (usually). They bob and weave and try to not stick out.
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There were other people (mostly the twenty somethings) that continued to text and visit social media sites during the concert. They had to let people know where they were and what they were doing. It was more important to brag about their "experience" than to actually have the experience. I wanted to scream, "BE PRESENT IN THE MOMENT YOU STUPID TOURIST OF LIFE!" (Thanks to Doug Stanhope for that phrase)
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Ok, more on stupid people later. Right now I want to tell you about Mr. Plant. One word, "Phenomenal." Five mintes before the musicians took the stage, a stagehand came out and placed (and lit) bundles of  nag champa incense all along the front of the stage. The show started with one of the guitarists playing a beautiful piece on his acoustic. Robert plant sauntered onto the stage, which was bathed in blue light,  and the guitar piece turned into the opening notes of "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You." The audience started hooting and hollering and my heart beat quickened as Robert Plant brought his lips to the mike and sang " baby, I'm gonna leave you."
The rest of the show was just as good as that moment.
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He performed a lot of songs from Led Zeppelin. Some were reworked and some were pretty much the same. All were good. There were some new songs, too. He and his band have a great sound. I can't even describe it. Psychedelic blues with an African influence maybe? He has a musician in his band, Juldeh Camara from West Africa, that plays instruments I don't even know the name of. The rest of the band were from the UK. A talented bunch of Brits. 

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Robert's voice is still amazing. His stage presence is commanding. At one point, during a song, he crossed the stage towards a security guard in the audience. He then pointed to a lady in the front row that was zonked out of her mind thanks to some substance. The guard and the audience pulled the woman over the security barrier and out to some area for recovery. Robert did all of this without missing a beat of the song he was singing. The man is a pro. 

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In my next post, I'm going to talk about paying the Tall Tax at a concert. 
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Thursday, June 06, 2013

Celebrating 9 years of Marriage

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Dale and I celebrated nine years of marriage by dressing up and going to Uchi for a lovely dinner. We enjoyed the 10 course tasting menu. let me tell you, if you are a foodie and you find yourself in Austin you MUST get to Uchi. I can't wait to go back! (Better budget for it though because it's not cheap bub).

I really like the dress I wore. Here it is:
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When I was a kid, my mom would always dress me in pink. I wore pink so often that I eventually grew tired of the girlie color. By the time I was 15, I stopped wearing it completely. All shades of pink were banned from my body. Now that I'm an adult, I am back to wearing pink. In fact, I embrace the color completely. I think it compliments my skin and hair color.
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Dale calls the above photo "hello there big boy." I must have been channeling Mae West.
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AWW, puddin'.