Thursday, June 29, 2006

balloons, horn, kazoo, dice....

School has been keeping me really busy lately. Here is a story that may or may not have happened. In a group therapy session, where there are 3 adult clients (3 males and a female) and 3 clinicians (all females), a game was being played called Outburst.

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To play the game, one person names category given on the Outburst card and the rest of the players throw out as many things they can that fall into that category.
For example, the category could be MOVIES STARRING TOM CRUISE
And you might say “mission impossible, Vanilla Sky, War of the Worlds, Risky Business, Crazy McCrazerson”. Whatever.

So, one of the clinicians may or may not have chosen the category THINGS YOU BLOW.

I almost pissed myself when the clinician may or may not have read the category out loud. There may or may not have been a period of awkward silence following the reading of the category.


After therapy was over, I may or may not have asked the clinician if she purposely chose that category because of the, um…well, the implied content. You know what I mean.

Any-hoo, an evil grin may or may not have spread across the clinicians face after I asked the question. She then, may or may not have admitted to asking that question on purpose (because of what it implied).

I love my co-clinicians…..and there is no “may not” about that statement.

Have a good weekend. Be like Colin and enjoy a nice cold pool:
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Thursday, June 22, 2006

Sometimes, I don’t feel like writing…

So I am gonna just let the pics do the talking.
(all of these pics were taken during the same fun filled night at the Harmon’s house)

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Rude Ass

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I was sitting at the outside patio of Starbucks a few days ago, studying for a test. As I was deep in concentration, reading about traumatic brain injury and therapies for the disorders that follow such a tragic event, when I heard someone say “COMMING?”
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I continued to read about emotional/behavioral/memory therapy.
Surely, this comment was not meant for me.

Then, from the corner of my eye, I see two snazzily dressed 30 something males pass by my table. The man in front, as he was briskly passing by, looked at me and said “COMMING?”

I realized he was addressing me, so I answered with a polite “excuse me?”

He replied with “Are you coming?”

At this point he had reached the front door of the Starbucks.

“Uh no”, I said, “I think I will just stay right here.”

“ok.” he replied.

Then, a few seconds later, the man that was accompanying him told me “No, he asked if you were CARMEN.”

“oh, no….I’m sorry….I am not Carmen.”

What a shame that I am not yet a licensed speech language pathologist. If so, I would have provided that guy with my business card explaining that not only could I work on his pragmatic skills (basically the rules of conversation: turn taking; volume control; social appropriateness…etc) but I could possibly help him with the correct pronunciation of the word “Carmen”.

Seriously, it looked as if the guys were going to Starbucks to meet a prospective employee or client. The man should have stopped at my table and politely said something like “excuse me, would you happen to be Carmen?” You see, shuffling by “Carmen’s” table and throwing out her name like a worm on a hook is not what I would call good business skills.


p.s. Do not question my mad hearing Skills and think for a moment that I did not hear him properly thus misinterpreting his pronunciation of the word Carmen. My hearing has been tested, fool, and I know it is good. It is probably better than yours. That's right. Wanna bet?

Monday, June 19, 2006

The Good and the Bad

Dale was playing with the camera the other day and managed to take a series of pictures of yours truly. He had the camera set on this rapid fire picture taking mode. I did not know he was taking pictures, because the flash was not going off. What you are about to see is a series of me. The good and the Bad (and the bad is really bad). I am posing in most of these as I am thinking he is gonna take a picture any second (as he was holding the camera up to my face the entire time). Some of them are natural pics. Does it matter? No. Am I a camera whore? Yes. Did I know Dale was taking 177 pictures of me? No.


Let’s start out with a goodie good:
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Not to bad, right?

Now look at the counterpart:
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Oh NO!
Somebody please take me off of the morphine drip, STAT!

Some good:
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Hey, it’s a genuine smile. No posing here. Dale must have made me laugh.

some bad:
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No, MaaaaaaaaM! Do not eat the decorations! Nice wrinkle, grand canyon face!

Back to the good, for the love of pete!:
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Aww. I look so innocent and unassuming.

Returning to the Bad:

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“duh, which way did he go George…which way did he go?”

The good:
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Except for my pointy tooth

The badlands:
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Uh, ya might wanna look into some Botox.

A good one:
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Kinda cool, white washed thingy. The camera continually changed settings as to find the right light. Pretty neat-o.

The bad:
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By far, my most favorite bad picture in all of creation!

Thanks for stopping by!

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Happy Father's Day

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My pop

Dear Dad, here are some of the things I think about when remembering my childhood. You are one of a kind, and I love ya.

You made the best Coney Islands EVER….USA!

You would take me to see some of the musical theatre that rolled trough Lubbock. You also introduced me to the old musical movies that I still love to this day. My Fair Lady might be my favorite.

You were so into Christmas decorations! Your Disney character Christmas posters made my childhood years unique. Nobody else had a Mickey Mouse poster hung in their hallway during Christmas. Do you still have those? Speaking of Christmas, thanks for always reading ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas to us kids right before we would go to bed on Christmas Eve.

You paid me a nickel for every page of a book I would read. Thus, my love for the written word began with my first book Chippy Chipmunk. When I got older, you would share your books with me (and Joey). I think I have read every Stephen King book, because of you. You still lend me books. Thanks.

Thank you for always having the answer. Whenever my friends discuss something involving history or religion, I know I can call you for the answer. I don’t know how many times, in the midst of a discussion, I have said the words “I’ll call my dad”.

The Racquetball lessons. You would take me behind the Food Emporium so we could hit some racquet balls against the back wall. You did not get frustrated when my ball would inevitably end up on the roof, never to be seen again.

Like my appreciation stories I have for mom, I could go on an on remembering how you made my childhood special. Thanks for everything. Happy fathers day!!


p.s. My dad is starting his own blog. Check it out at:
Born on the Island

Saturday, June 17, 2006

The Adventures of Rachel and Sarah…USA!

Right, so we leave coyote ugly and emerge back onto 6th street. Not sure where to go next, we chat up a few people on the street. Rachel wants to go someplace we have never been, so we decide to head to this place called “the loft”. (I think that is what it was called).
As we are waiting to cross the street, two guys come up to us and one starts talking to Rachel, telling her she is pretty and what not. He asked her name and she told him it was “Sandra”. I became “Kylie”.
We ditched the fellas and hurried into the loft, but it was not the loft at all. It was Ivory cats. Yep, a piano bar. The loft was the bar upstairs (something I figured out right before we exited that joint). I bought a beer and tried to stomach the hip guy playing piano and singing. It was ok at first, he did U2’s with or without you… not bad at all. Then, he did Georgia by Ray Charles…complete with mimicking Ray’s voice almost exactly. Rachel and I discussed how it would be so much better if he sang it in his real voice. I excused myself and went to the ladies only to return to the piano guy playing Sweet Home Alabama. Oh lord. “Drink up, Sandra….it’s time to go”.
But not before a quick photo op:
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And were off.
Next stop, Maggie Mays to meet Margaret, Paul, and some of their friends. Now you may ask yourself “did Sarah finally loose it at this bar and bitch out a bartender?”

Yes, yes she did.

I ordered 2 beers for Rachel and myself and plopped down my credit card. Bartender bitch said, “there is a $10.00 limit”. My beer was like 5 bucks or something. I replied “No.” She stared blankly at me and I said “I am not spending $10.00 here, so take it or leave it”. She then said “We are out of credit card paper, so I can’t take that anyway”. At this point, Rachel went to get some cash from Paul. Right before Paul got to the bar with his cash I told bitch Bartender “That’s not my problem. You should tell your manager to order more credit card paper next time.” She replied, “Well we just ran out”. I said something like, “Oh, how does that help me now?” Paul plunked down the cash and Rachel grabbed my arm and escorted me away from bitch bartender before it got really ugly.

Then, we took this pic:
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On top of Maggie Mays.

We finished our drink and went to the corner store near Josh’s house for a six pack. After I purchased the beer, Rachel noticed a man pumping gas. Actually, she noticed the license plate on his car. It started out with the random 3 digit number and they were followed by the letters USA! I shit you not!

SO what are a couple of gals to do but drive up to the man and ask him about his license plate.


Rachel : “Hi, why does your license plate say USA?”
Guy: “Because I am a Judge”
Rachel: “Oh wow, so I guess it would be bad if we ever had to see you”
GUY: “Yea, you don’t want to be in my courtroom. I am a federal judge”
Rachel: “Why are you dressed up”
(he was wearing a tux)
Guy: “I just got back from a party”
Rachel: “Have you been DRINKING?”
GUY: (he was frozen. Did not know what to say)
Guy: “Well, yea. I was at a party”
Rachel & Sarah: (laughter)

End scene

So we get to Josh’s and talk and laugh and giggle. I got made fun of for being so dark. The end…….USA

Friday, June 16, 2006

The Adventures of Rachel and Sarah…USA!

We started out at Three Amigo’s for a little pre pool food and beverage. The chicken soft tacos were muy bien. We got to the pool around 1:30 and continued to enjoy beverages and the sun for a few hours. It was at this time that we hatched our Plan. At first, We were just going to lay out and then go home for a nap. After the nap, we would rejoin and head over to the Peacock for a pea-cocktail. After that, we planned on joining Dale and Josh Johnson over at Josh Johnson’s pad.

Rachel had the brilliant idea to forgo a nap and, instead, just take a quick shower and continue the fun.

I had the brilliant idea to add USA after anything we said if we wanted a bit of dramatic emphasis. E.g., “It is hot out here, U.S.A!”
It worked.

After the pool, and a few more beers, we headed to the thrift store. Rachel struck gold and bought a few new dresses and a snazzy new blouse (which she wore later that evening). I found nothing. Some days are diamonds, kids, and some days are rocks.

After the thrift store, Ray Ray and I parted ways to shower and change. I also ate a bowl of cereal.

We met back up and proceeded to go downtown. We parked in a parking lot and spent 10 minutes scraping up enough change to pay the $5.00 fee. At one point, we were only 50 cents short. The damned parking lot guy was generous with his flirting and his cheesy one liners, but would not spot us 50 cents. Wha-eva.

Our first stop of the night was the uniquely decorated Casino El Camino. We drank rum and diet cokes and split a yummy BLT.
Over the meal, Rachel decided to tell people that we were celebrating her “divorce”. The story was that she had been married 7 years to a man that just did not appreciate her. They tried to make it work but ,instead, grew apart. He was embarrassed by the fact that she drank miller light as he was a fan of red wine. He was always traveling, and she was lonely. Her position as a school teacher was just not “high society” enough for him.

We got some people to take this picture of us. Right before the camera clicked, I said “Rachel just got a divorce, CHEERS!”
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Our waitress was high on something. When I asked her for a menu she said, “Uh, I’ll try to remember to bring it to you. I usually forget though, so if I do you can find the menu’s inside”.

Then, when I asked for more water, she brought me this :
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It was luke warm, U.S.A.
I think she had intended to fill my glass with the water but her neurons were not firing quickly enough to complete the task.

We then ventured out to Coyote Ugly. That’s right. Coyote, friggen’ Ugly.
When we walked into the bar, every man in the joint stared us up and down like they were expecting us to shed our clothing and start dancing on the bar.

Right when we sat down, a bartender begged us to dance on the bar. Uh, no thanks. It’s still daylight and we have not had enough to drink.

We did, however, take a picture standing next to the bar:
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Check out that fella next to me.

As we were leaving, the bouncer came up to us and insisted that we take a picture on top of the bar. Rachel had discussed this possibility with him earlier on, and he wanted to make sure that it happened. As we climbed up the bar, everyone started hootin’ and hollerin’:
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And why not, check out those legs on those ladies! I could take the time to tell you about the vulgar bartender and how she made references about her staff-mates “brown-eye”, but I am trying to keep this sucka PG 13.

Look for part two of “The Adventures of Rachel and Sarah…USA” tomorrow.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Bubble Boy

I took many, many pictures of Josh and his bubble machine until I finally got the perfect bubble picture.

Here it is:

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Perfect, I know.

In other news:
1. I went to bath and body works and got a ton of good smelling stuff. They are having a HUGE sale right now. I should be set on potions for my bubble baths for the rest of the summer. I was upset, though, because there was only one bottle of sweet cinnamon pumpkin (lotion) left in that joint. I got it.
2. I’ve been listening to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I borrowed the cd’s from Clint a while back. I find that when I listen to this as I navigate through rush hour traffic, I am not nearly as stressed as I usually am. The secret? I am not in a rush to get home as I am content with hearing the story unfold. Yes, I read the book but there is something weird about hearing some old English bloke read it to me.
3. I also stopped by express today. I did not buy anything, as they did not have anything I wanted that was under 30 bones. I hate those sales girls “can I help you”, “Do you want me to start a dressing room for you” “How are those sizes working out for you” ----Gosh, leave me alone already! If I need you, I will tell you……ass!
4. anybody else feel like eating oysters and drinking beer? I do.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Hot dogs for hungry dogs

At the end of the spring semester, I was walking along the drag when I came upon this box of hot dogs sitting on the street corner.

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“How odd”, I thought as I took my trusty camera from my bag to snap a pic of this anomaly.

I took two quick pics of the box-o-dogs and went on my merry way. Later, when I was showing friends the picture, I discovered that someone had also taped a hotdog and what looks like a fried burrito to the street light. See:

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What is going on here?

I think the drag rats (the bums that roam the drag) did this. Maybe they wanted to leave some food for stray dogs, even though there are no stray dogs stupid enough to roam the drag. There is, if you will notice, a chunk taken from the hot dog on the street light.

(Funny, both times I tried to type “street light” I have typed “streeght lite”. )

Anyways, join me in pondering the purpose of these abandoned hot dogs.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Jeff Ramone

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I do not currently have any new pics to post so I decided to throw this classic up on the ol blog.
Yes, yall, it’s J3 (Jeff).
HE looks like he is about to open for the Rolling Stones.

In other news:
1. I am freaking tired. I have forgotten, during my short break, what it was like to wake up at 5:45 in the morning. School is back in session and I am not too happy about it. Most of my break was spent lying in bed nursing my damned abscessed tooth. I did get to spend a short period of time in Lubbock though. That was nice.

2. I am quitting smoking…..again. This time, it better stick. This morning, I had a smoke when I got to school. I threw the remainder of the pack away in a trash can outside of my building. It was a ceremonial act that declared “I HAVE QUIT THIS VILE HABBIT”! Two hours later, I fished that pack out of the trash. I felt like that red head on sex in the city when she ate the chocolate cake out of the trash. After holding the pack for 2 minutes, I threw it away again. I have a problem.

3. I fed a squirrel part of my chocolate chip cookie today. It was on the ground, a safe distance away from me, looking at me with those big squirrel eyes. I could not resist throwing the lil rascal some of the yumminess. He/she looked really cute eating it. After I gave this rat with a fuzzy tail part of my yummy treat (Einstein’s bagels has the best CC cookies), I went back to reading some school crap. The damned creature nearly made me piss myself when it decided that it needed more of the dessert therefore leaping onto my table landing 1 inch away from my body. I shot up from my chair faster than you can say “rabies shot” and let the little shit have the rest of my cookie num num. Fucker had balls, yall.

4. I don’t have anything else to tell you. I gotta go defrost some chicken or something and then get back to preparing for tomorrow.