The Challenger

Today, after a few happy hour drinks, Dale and I stopped by our local convenience store for some take home happy hour drinks. I trusted Dale to make the purchase as I waited in the car while listening to the Stones.

“Please to meet you, hope you guess my name”

Man, I love that song.

Dale comes out of the store with a grin on his face. That means trouble, ladies and gentlemen.

It seems that young Dale made a spontaneous purchase.

Check it out

Uh yea. He bought a Du-Rag. Not just any Du-Rag, mind you. Dale bought the two toned Challenger with long tie.

When I asked him why he bought it, he said “it’s a gag gift”.

I asked him who it was for and he said “for me”.

Wow. I did not know you could buy gag gifts for yourself.

Then he said something about the fact that our household needs a Du-Rag.

Maybe he is right.

Or, maybe this is just one more descending step into insanity for young Dale.

By the way, he is still wearing it as I type this blog.

Silky

Question- What do you do when you have been hanging out with your husband and your friend and your friend gives you a bunch of silk fabric?

Answer- You play dress up, silly!

Let’s pretend that I am a Moroccan Princess!

No, I am a Moroccan Princess Warrior!

Wait, I am a Moroccan Princess Warrior Spy!! Yeah, that’s it!

And you are my American co-conspirator! Your are undercover as a pissed off artist!

Don’t worry, I have cyanide pills incase we get caught.

Oh, here is the target. He must not know about our mission. I have to figure out a way to charm him so that I can steal the information he has regarding top secret engineering designs.

Hopefully, this will work.

Josh and Sarah’s night on 6th street

Josh

Last week, Josh invited Dale and I to see a friend’s band play downtown. Dale declined the offer because he had to work the next morning. Dale said he was cool with me going with Josh, so off we went. Unfortunately, the band’s performance time was move up an hour so we only got to see a few songs. Well, it was not that unfortunate….the songs I heard might have caused some damage to my high frequency hearing range. They were an “industrial” band. Any-hoo, I asked Josh if he would please hit a few bars with me. I have never been down town with just Josh, and I thought it would be fun. We started out at the Red Eyed Fly and had a nice time. I got the itch to go to Casino El Camino, though, so we paid the tab and walked over to where all the trouble started.

At first, everything was cool. Josh and I bellied up to the bar and ordered our drinks. There was a guy sitting on my left, but he was quiet…for a while. About 45 min later, he strikes up a conversation with us. He was a photographer so he and Josh start talking about framing and what not. Somewhere down the line, Josh told the dude that I was married and he was my body guard for the evening. The guy said “Oh, you are married”? and grabbed my had to view my ring.

Then, things got strange… here is the condensed version.

Not too long after the ring viewing, I decided it was time to re-gloss my lips. As I was doing so, Josh said “What are you doing”? The other guy said “Can I help you take some of that off”?

I looked at the guy, with surprise, and said “NO”!

Josh said “Hey, buddy! I just told you she was married! Are we going to have a problem”?

The dude apologized and the conversation continued. I thought it would be a good time to excuse myself for a few minutes, thinking that Josh would move to a table or something to get away from this goof. When I returned, Josh and the guy were still in the same seats. A little time passed, and the dude whispered some kind of lame ass rhyme in my ear. I laughed nervously and Josh blew up again. At this point, I was getting nervous. I thought Josh was gonna hit the dude and then go to jail. So I calmed Josh down and told him it was ok. Josh then suggested we go sit outside. But first, he had to go the men’s room. The guy followed me outside and said, “at some point tonight, you are going to have to figure out a way to slip me your number”.

I was appalled! I told him I could not do that and reminded him, again, that I was married (like he needed a reminder). Josh then comes out, has a smoke, and tells me it is time to go.

When we were outside, and walking away from the bar, I told Josh that the joker asked me for my phone number. If Josh was a gal, he would have laughed and called the guy a loser. Instead, he turned and started walking briskly towards the bar. It caught me off guard and I had to catch up with him and beg him to not go back there. We did not need the trouble. So, when we got back to Josh’s place, I received a two hour lecture on how I am naïve about men. Josh said that he made a mistake by not punching the guy the moment he made the lip gloss comment. I, however, am glad he restrained himself.

Any-hoo, here are the top ten points that were made.

Lecture Points

1. Any guy that approaches you In a bar is NOT interested in being your “friend”.
2. Many guys do not care that you are married. Some just don’t give a rat’s ass about the sanctity of marriage and others just feel that they are probably better than your husband.
3. For many guys, talking with a pretty girl is as valuable as money.
4. If you tell a guy you are married, and he still has the nerve to ask for your phone number you MUST tell him to F*$k Off!
5. The next time a guy, whom you informed you were married, asks for your phone number while your buddy Josh is not looking you must tell your buddy Josh this bit of information so that he may punch the guys teeth down his gullet.
6. Guys don’t look to see if you are wearing a wedding ring. If a guy strikes up a conversation with you, at a bar, then it is in your best interest to show him the ring right away and tell him you are married. He may not give a crap, but at least you set the ground rules early.
7. Forget #6… just don’t talk to any guy at any bar.
8. If a guy is hassling you, know that the bartender and bar staff have your back. They are there to serve drinks and keep an eye on things.
9. Be wary of guys that introduce themselves as “photographers.”
10. You might want to consider wearing a potato sack the next time you go out on the town. And please, don’t put on lip gloss in view of other men.

So there you have it. It took you, what….a few seconds to read the 10 points? It took me 2 HOURS to listen to them, over and over again. I think I learned my lesson.

Random Morning

Good day to you, my friend. I have this picture that I have wanted to show you for a while.

I took this photo at a flying J’s truck stop in Waco. This giant sign was affixed to the window by the front door. I just thought it was really odd. Especially the part that says “please see the cashier for details”

Uh, yea. I doubt I want to be getting information regarding our national security from one of the cashiers at a gas station. The lady that checked me out could not even remember what she said to me two seconds ago. Our communication exchange went something like this:

Scene- I am at the cash register with some beef jerky and a soda. Don’t judge me, beef jerky is a good travel snack.

Cashier- “ Do you have a flying J’s card?”

Me- “nope”

Cashier- “Would you like anything from our deli?”

Me- “uh, no thanks”

Cashier- “ Is that type of beef jerky good?” (I bought the masterpiece BBQ kind)

Me- “Yea, I like it”

Cashier- “Do you have a flying J’s card?”

Me- “no…”

Cashier- “Would you like anything from our deli?”

Me- “uh, no…just the jerky and the soda…”

End scene

Oh, I also came across this old school photo of my pop doing the famous mirror pic that graces many a myspace page

Like father, like daughter

OH, I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!!! I PASSED MY SPEECH LANGUAGE PATHOLOGY LISCENCING EXAM!!! HOLLA!

I hope that that is the last test I will ever take in my life. It was basically a comprehensive exam covering two years of grad school. I studied for it, but I was still nervous. Any-hoo, yay me! Shout out to my fellow classmates (Kristi) whom also passed the test.

Urban Geisha Part 4

Meet Kristi

Pictured here with her husband, PJ. I stole this photo from his myspace.

Kristi is the newest member of the Urban Geisha project. Wanna see some photos?

Ok then….

I used warm colors on her face.

Love this one

Close your eyes

Open your eyes

Hungry like a wolf

She supplied her own nose ring

What if she were really lavender?

The end!

Thanks goes to Kristi for being brave enough to endure the make-up process.

The Spoon Jam

Howdy! I am writing this from Day Break coffee house located in Lubbock, Tx. Yee-haw!!

I came here for a wedding, but I stayed for the open Jam.


For more years than I can remember, the Texas Café (or the “spoon” as the cool kids call it), has been hosting an open Jam. When I lived here, it was tradition to go out to this bar every Sunday night and check out the local talent. Maybe it’s because there is not much else to do here, but Lubbock is the home to some very fine musicians. It was all about John Sprott and Cherry Bombs.
The drill is, you sign up on a sheet and wait for your chance to sing two songs.


I have done the Jam twice before, but I have never sang two songs. Last night, I did.


Sorry about the bombardment of performance pics, but this is my blog and I can do what I want.


What did you say? You want to know what songs I did?


Well, here is the thing….I was singing with the house band. I knew I was going to sing Bobby McGee, because I know they know that tune. I’ve done it before. I sang it last. For the first song, I had know idea what I would be singing until I got up on stage.


I discussed options with the band. I wanted to do a Black Crows song. That was a problem. None of us could come up with one that everybody felt comfortable with.




So, I did what I had to do and asked the band if they could play Sweet Child of Mine by Guns N’ Roses.

The drummer said “Are you wanting to do the Sheryl Crow version”

I said—“Hell no!” followed by “If we are gonna do this, we are gonna do it balls to the wall”. Also, I don’t even know the Sheryl Crow version.

The drummer smiled. The band played. I sang. It rocked.


Then, I sang Bobby Mcgee.



Awwwwww Yeah!!


I loved every second of it. I wish you all could have been there. Especially you, husband.