pink eyeshadow

not so extreme

Dale and I decided that we should produce real “X-treme” make-over show. On our show, people will be made over to look like the people you see hanging out at the Ritz here in Austin. After making myself over, I decided I suck at it. THE SHOW IS CANCELLED!

Price check on aisle 5

I like the swedish meatballs the best!

I went shopping at Target today and bought these yummy lean cuisine meals. “Big deal Sarah, why don’t you tell us about something interesting?” I am about to do just that my friends. This little baby’s were on sale, marked down from $1.97 to $1.50. However, when the checker gal was ringing them up, only 2 out of the nine came up as sale price. Being the thrifty person that I am I quickly told her about the mess up. She had to call a price check on the item, which took FOREVER! Meanwhile, she decides to tell me all about her day and how she has had horrible customers and all of that jazz (like I care). The price check person finally comes back and says “The item only rings up at $1.50 if you buy two. I was like, “I have 9 so 8 of them should cost $1.50.” She went all the way back to frozen foods to verify this. Why? WHY????? The checker girl then told me about her old job at taco bell while I waited for another eternity. I started going off into my own mind, all the while smiling and nodding at the employee. I was thinking that perhaps I had been in a horrible car accident on the way to the store and that I was really dead and in Hell. Finally, the price check person comes back and allows all of my lean c’s to be purchased for the price of $1.50 a piece. So I saved a few bucks in trade for 10 minutes of torture at Target. Anyway, watch those scanners when you are at the store. I have had the wrong price ring up probably 5 out of 10 visits.

Not so scared

sign

I just finished my second day at the Texas School of the Deaf. WHEW! It is so interesting being in that world three hours a day, a world where sound does not matter. People slam the doors constantly because they can’t hear the horribly shocking sound that it makes. The kid’s are still experimenting with their voice, so they make little vocalizations quite often. And oh the hearing aids…..let me tell ya, when there is more than one person in close proximity who are wearing those things the feedback that is produced is unreal. I am subjected to this high pitch, whiney sound for the entire time I am there. I am sorta getting use to it, but every once in a while I am like “what the hell is that?” My signing skills need improvement. Around those kids, I sign like my post stroke grandpa spoke. Christ, it is embarrassing. They understand though, and are very accepting of me which is more than I can say for how some of them are treated in the “hearing” world. What a shame.

So Scared!!!

fuzzy pic

I am scared to death right now! Today, in about an hour, I have to start my internship at the Texas School of the Deaf. The teacher I am working with is Deaf, so I am really going to have to use my sign language skills. What I am worried about is the following:
1. At a “hearing” school, I would just knock on the class room door to announce my presence. What am I going to do at TSD? Just walk right in? I don’t know what is appropriate.
2. The kid’s could totally make fun of me in sign language and I would not even know it. I know sign, but not fluently. If they sign fast, I am toast.
3. I am afraid of using the wrong sign. There are loads of signs that look similar, but mean two different things. For example, the sign for “coffee” and “make-out” are really close. I guess I won’t be asking for any coffee, just in case.
4. What if they don’t like me because I am studying to be a speech language pathologist? Many people in the Deaf Community do not appreciate us hearing folk trying to teach their kids to learn how to “Talk”. Ohhhhhh, maybe I will just tell them I am studying to be an interpreter or something.
Anyway, keep your fingers crossed for me and I will let you know how my day went later on in another post.

Fat Cat

My healthy body mass index rages between 125-168lbs. That is a difference of 43lbs!!!! I am 5’9” and don’t think I would look healthy at 125lbs. I have been at 168 before, back in the days of fatness, and it did not look good. The average of the two numbers at both ends of the range is 146.5lbs, which seems more reasonable. My Husband’s body mass index ranges between 148-199lbs. He is 6’3” and let me tell ya, if he weighed 148lbs I would have to call Sally Struthers and tell her to start up a “feed the Dale” program. That would just be nasty looking, 148lbs. Who the “F” comes up with these numbers?

O4' Sucked!

O4' Sucked!

My friend made this shirt to wear this past New Years Eve. I told him it was a shame that he could only wear it once because “sucks” is in the present tense and 04’ was about to be past tense. He tried to argue with me, saying that “O4’ will always suck”. He soon gave up the argument, realizing that it did not make much sense. I think the ka-million shots of Jagermeister that he took down had something to do with the confusion. Later that night, or early that morning, he took a dip in the outdoor pool. It was cold outside and the pool was not heated. Again, blame it on the jagermeister. Nice Shirt though.

Time ain't on my side

Time

I got ready for the first day of my last undergrad semester at UT this morning. I did not have class until 12:30, so I was not in a rush. I got up, did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, and did some laundry. I also took a shower and got dressed (I guess I did not have to mention that). So, at 11:45 I went down the steps to find that my truck was not in the garage. My husband took it, because he is use to doing so on Tuesdays and Thursdays for work reasons. Any-hoo, I no longer need him to do that….but I guess he did not realize this. “No problem”, I thought, “I’ll take his truck”. I gathered my crap and walked over to his truck only to realize that My key to his truck was in my truck which was at his work. “SON OF A BITCH”! I called him, frantically dialing the number………..no answer. I called again, and again, and again……….no answer “MOTHER FU***R”! I called my friendly neighbor Colin, hoping that he could take me to the bus stop………….no answer “DAMN IT ALL TO HELL”!!!!
Finally, the husband called and then came to my rescue. Yes, I was 3 min late to my first class of my first day of my last semester as a UT undergrad. The class was sign language, so I had to explain to the teacher (in sign language) what had happened. It was all good, considering I almost had a mini stroke on the way up to campus.

Revenge

My Friend

This is my good buddy Colin. He just got this new haircut. I tried to talk him out of it, but he would not listen. He said he wanted the same hair-do that Catherine Zeta Jones had in the movie “Chicago”. I just don’t think it suits him well. He LOVES it though. To each his own I guess.

Black Hat Strips

I think that I am going to start putting black electrical tape over all of my hat logos when I go out. This way, everyone will think I am being filmed for a reality TV show. They may wonder where the camera men are…….
Oh well, people are stupid. They will just think they are hiding so as not to spoil the “real-ness” of it all.

While he was sleeping, I was awake.....and drunk.

bad ass jacket

So I found this awesome vintage jacket at my favorite thrift store the other day. It was born in New York in the 1970’s. It’s whole life, it longed to find me, and on January 11th, 2005, it finally did. I will give it a nice home, next to my blue suede thrift store jacket, my black leather thrift store jacket, and my cream colored leather jacket that was purchased at Target (half priced).
“In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.” -Tyler Durden

Zoe

This is my new niece, Zoe. I have many cute and cuddly type pics of her, but decided to post this one because she is smirking…….gotsta love that. Onto other things: I am helping my good buddy Clint plan our 10 year High school reunion. Oh, oh, what fun.*sarcasms intended. Hopefully, we can do the dance scene from “Romy and Michelle’s high school reunion”. Don’t think I haven’t already been practicing.

dork ass

Here is a dorky pic of me for good measure. (right before the picking of the fro).

afro

What I should be doing today:
1.finishing my grad school application
2. cleaning my apartment
3. doing laundry

What I am doing today
1.Giving myself an AFRO
2.Dicking around with the digital camera
3.posting nonsense on my blog

I love Halloween

killer doll

How great is Halloween? When else could I dress like this in public? I usually start planning my costume in late August/early September. Last year, however, I think I threw this lil gem together a week before the big night. I started a new tradition a few years back of always wearing a wig with my costume. So far I have used blue, brown, and blonde wigs to compliment my costume. I do not yet know what I will be dressing up as next year, but I do know that it will involve a RED wig.
Costume rules:
1.must show cleavage
2.Preferably not store bought (although the killer doll dress was, but the packaging called it “Beer Wench” and I changed it up a bit).
3.must make me want to dance a jig while wearing it

hmmmmmm, I wonder what I could be next year........

two in one sitting

the ear
ohhhhhhh, how exciting! It is a diagram of the outer, middle, and inner ear! Don't get overly excited about it......I know it will be hard not to. I just wanted to post two blog's in one day. Also, I am still experimenting with uploading pics.

givin it another shot

I started this blog ages ago for the purpose of being able to comment on another friend's log (www.monkey13355.blogspot.com/). I think I have like one crappy post, which makes me sad because I use to have an online journal before they were popular......and it was kind of neat. So, now I am gonna give it another shot. So..........right now I am on my porch watching 2 squirrels groom each other. They are making strange squirrel barking noises as they do so. Are you so enthralled with my witty writing? I knew I would hook you. Whatever, who reads this shit?