mmmmmmmm, cake

I'll do just that.

Rachel’s e-mail
Just thought I would send a picture of my first official decorated cake! I got a little carried away, but I wanted to practice making the flowers! (I am taking a cake decorating class on Monday nights for those of you that didn't know!)
Have a great Tuesday!

Having not posted in a while, I decided to post something before I go out for the night. I enjoy having a picture with every post, but could not find any that I felt like posting at the moment. Sure, I have plenty from the rock and roll series that need to be viewed but the “story” just was not there for me . I just got off the phone with my pal Rachel, and we were discussing her new hobby of cake decorating. I remembered this pic that she sent me in an e-mail. Most likely, she was not thinking that I would post it on my blog without her permission. I think it is a cute cake, and will probably ask her to make one for my birthday (MARCH 29th, send gifts). Have a good weekend!

New Sheets biatch!

bed on fire

I have wanted orange sheets for a long time. They are pretty hard to find. I guess the demand is low for orange sheets. I wanted a slightly deeper shade of orange, but this is the closest I could find in my price range. Anyway:
the make my bed look like it is on fire,
with the burning desire,
that me and my beloved share.
Between the sheets is where the two of us meet
and every night in each other’s eyes we stare.

HAHAHAHA, I just made myself a lil’ nauseous with that shit. I got on a rhyme kick for a while. How about this one:

The sheets match the shade of the fires of hell,
which serves me and my partner quite well,
for every night that we sleep together,
we wish that the other was in jail.

Is that better?

They Gay Post

Sarah, Amy, Adrianne, and Kami

This past weekend I was in Dallas with these ladies and one gentleman (not pictured) to plan our ten year high school reunion. Guess how long we spent on the planning…..probably 45 min. We spent most of our time drinking, playing “catch phrase”, recovering from drinking, and eating snicker doodles. Saturday night, we went to the village area of Dallas a.k.a. "the gay district". We started out at “JR’s bar and grill”. Yea, gay people have a different idea all together of what a bar and grill is. It was more like a club. After that, we went to “Hunks” hamburgers for a bite. Next, we took our tipsy asses over to the gay country and western bar. Here is a list of things in relation to that place:
1.The ladies bathroom had no doors on the stalls.
2.I got fifty million compliments on my hat (that I wore in an attempt at paying homage to the drag queens)
3.I danced with a gay man to the cotton-eye joe.
4.Somebody broke a beer bottle and it was blamed on me
5.This guy popped my back
6.I got another fifty million compliments on my cool bag (you know, the shimmery one
7.I met Amy’s gay friend Pete. He was yummy
8.We made friends with a bunch of gay cowboys
9.Everyone tried on my hat

then we went to the next bar ,“S4” I think, where the following things took place:
1.See items 2 and 6 of the previous list
2I danced with Clint and my bag opened up spilling all of its contents on the floor along with my “emergency tampon”. Let me tell ya, dropping a tampon on the dance floor in the midst of hundreds of gay men is like dropping a grenade.
3.I took my shoes off (a true sign that I was DRUNK)
4.I danced in the middle of hundreds of shirtless gay men and every single one of them had the physique required to be shirtless
5.I accidentally knocked one of Clint’s contacts out
6.I drunk dialed Colin on the way home and I think I called him a pussy

Happy Valentines Day Sucka!

See, now everybody can see that you are my man.

Dale is my Valentine!!!! I wanted to pay tribute to him in today’s blog. So Dale, Thank you for the following things:

1. Being ok with the bright orange sheets that I bought for the bed.

2. Buying me those beautiful flowers.

3. Watching all of those movies with me this weekend. (open water, eternal sunshine, Napoleon Dynamite and run away jury)

4. Not getting that mad when I bite you even though you have told me a million times not to.

5.watering the plants

6.Not making fun of the fact that I am afraid of: bridges, tunnels, lava tubes, crowded elevators, and crowded automobiles.

7.Always getting me water when I ask for it (even though sometimes I don't ask you until you just sat down).

8.Always adjusting the apt temperature to my taste

9.popping my toes

10.Letting me pop your toes.

11. making me laugh

There is a lot more I could thank you for, but these are the things that come to mind right now. Also, I don’t want to bore everyone to tears.
LOVE YOU!!!
-Wifey

MAD SKLLZ

"Are you ready to ROCK?"

Did you find yourself yearning for another installment of the ROCK OUT pictures? I knew that you were. Here we have Josh Johnson (a.k.a. “Slosh Johnson) and myself rockin’ out to some sweet jams. It’s pretty much the best jam session we ever had. We are pretty much the best ROCKERS that I know of. I have sweet guitar skills, and so does Slosh. When I am not ROCKIN’ OUT, I am playing tether ball.

Derived from Greek margarites means "pearl".

PF Changs

This pic/post is for my friend Margaret who is currently in Guatemala doing social work and fighting off the local men. I can’t wait for you to get back here and share your stories with me! In the meantime, I hope you get this song stuck in your head….

I miss ya much (girl-oh-I miss you much)
I really miss you much (M-I-S-S you much)
I miss ya much (girl-oh-I miss you much)
Baby I really miss you much (M-I-S-S you much)

Is it working yet? No? Well here is a bit more then….

I'll tell your mama
I'll tell your friends
I'll tell anyone whose heart can comprehend
Send it in a letter babyTell you on the phone
I'm not the kinda girlWho likes to be alone

Now it has to be working. You can’t deny the Janet Jackson!

pup

You Are a Golden Retriever Puppy

Tolerant, fun-loving, and patient. You are eager to please - and attached to your frisbee.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

I do love the golden retriever. Does that mean I love myself? If so, does that make me gay?

FAME! I'm gonna live forever....

warm it up

Aren’t these leg warmers great? I found them at a thrift store for $1.50….HOLLA!
I like to wear them to bed. They keep my legs and feeties warm. I know ,I know, I could just wear PJ bottoms and socks to accomplish that feat but where is the fun in that? Dale is still “warming” up to them. He says that they make my legs look weird. Wha- eva!

ROCK OUT MUTHA TRUCKER!!!

"Are you ready to rock???!!!!!"

This is me pretending to be a rock star. If I were a rock star, my first album would be entitled Dead Man’s Hand. Why? Because one night, years ago, I was watching one of those news magazine shows. On that particular program there was a story about this guy who was the first person to receive a hand transplant. The hand came from a brain-dead patient (what, you thought someone living just donated it?). If I were the first person to have a hand transplant, I would show it off by saying “look at my dead man’s hand”. I guess I would probably have a dead woman’s hand. Whatever, beggars can’t be choosers. I have included a link to the story for your enjoyment.
http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/9901/29/hand.transplant/
By the by, this is the first rock star picture in a series. Expect more until I get some fresh photo's.

Police

cops

Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Last night, I went to sleep at around 10:30. At 12:30, I was awakened by a loud knocking on the door followed by someone shouting “Police, open up”! At first, I thought the cops were outside of my apt. I flung my arm over to Dale’s side of the bed and it met nothing but the sheets. I popped up thinking, “Holy Moses! The cops are here and Dale is not”! My mind raced as I tried to figure out what was going on. BANG BANG BANG, the knocking continued accompanied by another “POLICE!!! OPEN UP!!” This time, it did not sound like it was coming from my front door but possibly from the apt above me. I went into the living room and there was Dale, sitting on the couch watching TV. “Did you hear that?” I asked in my sleepy voice. “Hear What?” He replied. Dale has hearing loss in both ears by the way. One day, I am going to have to communicate with him through sign language. It’s a good thing I am learning. Any-hoo, I told him what happened and he came to bed with me. 5 Min later, I heard what sounded like someone hammering something. I have no Idea what was going on, but it interrupted my sleep. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa, I missed some sleep last night even though I went to bed at 10:30….WAAAAA! Waaaaaaa, I am a little tired today while someone else (my neighbor) is probably in Jail…WAAAAA!