"I am deeply offended. I was out of town for a week, only to come back ready to catch up on my friend's hilarious blog: she was listing random facts about all of her friends...but no mention of the girl who made her cut off her brother's sleeves in the kitchen. Or believed that she wrote "Stairway to Heaven". Or gave her lonestar beer lovin' husband's car a jump in a Lubbock parking lot. Whatever. Bitch.
--You know I'm kidding, right?"
Thank you for referring to my blog as “hilarious”. What a compliment considering it comes from one of the funniest gals I know. I am sorry I neglected to include you in my TELL IT ALL blog.
Let me make up for it, ok?
#1. “There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven”
I did convince Amy that I wrote the Lyrics to “Stairway to Heaven”. In high school, I had written them out on notebook paper and slid that paper behind the plastic of my notebook so that they would properly be displayed for all to see. Amy, not yet being a Zeppelin fan, complimented me on the lyrics. I told her that I wrote them. She thought it was a poem. HAHAHAH
#2. Amy never eats a complete French fry. She bites the fry leaving the piece that she held with the finger for the trash.
#3. When at a table, let’s say at a bar or club, Amy HAS to arrange everything just so. The pack of cigs must be in proper alignment with the lighter, the coasters, and the napkin holder. Sometimes, I mess everything up when she goes to the bathroom just so I can watch her arrange things again. Can you say, OCD?
#4. Amy prefers baths over showers. She likes to sprawl out in the tub and read as the water begins to rise.
#5. Amy grew up eating hamburgers made with regular sandwich bread instead of buns. I have tried this method and it is AWESOME.
#6. Amy is a big fan of “teen movies”. She liked Lindsay Lohan before most of you knew who that was.
#7. If you work at a bar and do not know how to make a Chilton, which is probably the case unless you work in Lubbock, then Amy will teach you how to make it…..and it BETTER BE RIGHT!
#8. When driving down the highway, it would not be a surprise to find Amy singing at the top of her lungs to “Behind these hazel eyes” by Kelly Clarkson.
#9. I just found out today that Amy recently made $20.00 by kissing strangers.
#10. Amy is a terrific writer and should have a blog of her own. The world is missing out.
What a good looking couple