Wednesday, July 27, 2005

The Super Fat Reunion Post

I have so many pictures and stories from my 10 year reunion that I don’t even know where to begin. Let me start out by telling you how surreal it was. It was so strange seeing these people that I spent 4 years (6 counting jr high) with, many who I have not seen since graduation. I don’t really know how to describe it. We should just take a look at some pictures.

First things first…
Dale really fit in. All of the ladies loved him! I think that these poor gals probably thought that Dale was in our class and they just did not recognize him.
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Here I am at the start of the reunion talking on the phone instead of talking to the people that were physically present.
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Things started to loosen up once people began to drink.
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Things got even more interesting once we decided to go to a club. Not all of the class made it to the next venue, but here is a pic of some of the ones that did.
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Here I am right before I made out with Kris Matthewson
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Just Kidding
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I am workin’ it in the go-go cage
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And Dale is workin’ on climbing the cage. I am telling you, we are the most fun!
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For my Lubbock readers: local news Anchor, Abner Euresti, married one of my class mates.
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Oh, and here is a bonus pic of some random gal’s fleshy bum.
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I have TONS of these pics, so I may post some more later. I have one of Dale Dancing in the parking lot with a surprise guest.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Has it really been 10 Years? Seems like 20.

awwwww yeah!

I am leavin’
Early Friday Mornin’.
Destination Lubbock,
Yea I know the town sucks.
Ohhhh but for ten years
And many, many beers
I have been out of high school
And you all know the rule
I gotsta go to the reunion
Gonna have so much fun
Bringing up old memories
Like who saw who’s mammories
I get to see who got fat
And who became a crack rat

I will be back in town on Monday. I hope to have stories and pictures to share with you all.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Look Alikes

In a recent comment, my friend Jeph pointed out that my brother looks like Sage Francis. For those of you don’t know, Sage has been called a battle emcee, spoken word poet, and a hip hop artist.
I myself have frequently thought that my brother bares a striking resemblance to Dave Attell, the quick witted comedian of Comedy Central’s Insomniac.
So go ahead and check out the triplets already:
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Dave, Brotha Joey, and Sage.

In other news……….
Can you believe that this woman called my husband fat?
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Oh yea she did! A few days before our wedding we ran into her at the mall where upon seeing Dale she exclaimed “wow, you got fat”. What a Bitch! Like she should talk! Look at that mouth…I have not seen a smile like that since Jack Nicholson played the Joker
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Don’t mess with my husband, cause I’ll get ya!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

I Apologize

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My brother, My sister, and myself

Dear Friends,
My older sister discovered my blog and read the post “Mystery Solved”. Sadly, in this post I mention that my entire family is “jolly” (instead of using the f word).
I hope her feelings are not hurt too badly. Let me set a few things straight….

1.) as you can tell from the pic, None of my siblings were overweight children. We all gained a few pounds as we gained life experience.

2.) For a period of a few years, I was a big fat chunk! I am no supermodel now, but I was once 40-50 pounds heavier. My favorite food was Reases Peanut Butter Puff cereal straight from the box to my mouth…no milk necessary! I could eat a box in a day.

3.) My sister informed me that she does not ever remember telling me that I was adopted. You know what? SHE DID! I wonder if she remembers this little conversation we used to have:
Sister- “Sarah, I think you are pretty”
Me- “really”?
Sister-“Yep, pretty ugly”
Me-“Waaaaaaaaaaaa……..I’m telling”!

Any-hoo, I love my family and would not want to hurt them in any way. I hope you were not too offended by my post. However, now that I know you are reading I may tell more family stories. Like the time we put a pair of your underwear on the wall when we knew you were bringing a date over. Or the time I snuck in your room and found your mace…I thought it was hairspray and sprayed it on my hair (ouch). Oh, or the time we got in that fight and you slapped me causing me to go into a rage so terrible that Dad had to throw me (fully clothed) into a cold shower to calm me down. Ah, memories.
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Bro and Sis

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Tattoo You

My friend Danny just got his first tattoo and I got the pics.
For those of you whom do not know Danny, let me introduce you.

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Danny, in all of his drunken glory.

First, I think I should show you Danny’s back pre-inking. I have taken the liberty of circling a mole that he might want a Dr. to look at. Note to Danny: It’s called SPF….you might want to look into it.
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Moving on, this is Danny during the process.
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He appears to be taking the pain like a trooper. Nice spider web on the wall, eh? Let me show you something else:

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I present you exhibits 1, 2, 3, and 4.
1. A tiny Mr. Skeleton
2. A lil jack-o-lantern
3. you might not be able to tell, but this is a pic of someone in a pumpkin patch
4. Danny is flashing the “devil horns”

Due to the evidence, I believe that Danny’s tattoo artist is in a perpetual state of celebrating Halloween. That’s right, I said it. Now take a look at Danny’s tattoo:
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He did not design this himself, oh no, instead he picked it from the available designs the tattoo artist offered. Due to her love of Halloween I believe that the tattoo artist is a follower of the Dark Lord. You heard me, she is a Satan Worshiper! And the tattoo that Danny so willingly accepted is a Satanic Symbol!!!

The symbol, once carved into the flesh, transforms its host into a member of the Satanic army which is why Danny is flashing the devil horns. Just look at that evil grin. Did MoFo Colin and his minions have something to do with this? Most Likely!
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From hell.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Cuddle Buddy


My friend Clint, his brother Curt, and myself ventured to the Midland/Odessa area for a wedding this past 3rd of July. The entire trip down there, I teased Curt that I would cuddle with him. Curt views me as his Brothers friend and wants little to do with me…especially if it involves cuddling. In school, he used to tease me by calling me (and telling people) that I was a witch. At times I think that I may make him uncomfortable. Perhaps he does not quite understand the unique relationship his brother and I share. Maybe the fact that when I visit, I still sleep in the same bed as Clint ( as I have been doing since the 9th grade) strikes him as odd. Perhaps he finds us strange due to the fact that he once spied on us as we danced if front of the tv trying over and over again to master the choreography that was so wonderfully displayed in the “If” video by Janet Jackson. Whatever it is, Curt does not want me as a cuddle buddy.
The wedding came and went and after several beers we made it back to the Best Western.
I waited, and waited until he finally fell asleep. I told Clint to grab the camera as I crawled next to Curt. With Clint in position to snap the perfect shot, I formed my body into the spoon position next to him.

And then, due to my giggles, he woke up and muttered something along the lines of “nnnnnnnnooooooo….don’t bother me”
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This caused me to laugh even more. I left him to sleep alone in his bed before his anger could develop into rage and crawled into bed with his brother where I was welcome. Clint and I then ate some cheese nips, hot fries, and baked cheetos before calling it a night.
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Clint and I in bed.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

MoFo Colin and his tribe of minions

MWa ha ha haaaaaaaaa

Friday, July 08, 2005

solved mystery

Growing up, I always thought that I was adopted. There are two reasons for this: one, my brother and sisters constantly told me that I was. They said that mom and dad would deny it as to not hurt my feelings. When I would confront my mom and dad about the issue, they told me that I was their child and not adopted. I believed my brother and sister. Two, I did not really resemble anyone in my family. They are all short and jolly (a term I like to use as a replacement for the F word……we could say plump). I was taller than everyone in my family by the time I reached 14 years of age. I had to reach for things in the top cabinet for my mother at home. She took me to the grocery store with her so that I could get the items that were high upon the top shelf…way out of her lil’ midget like reach. Also, I was the only kid that needed glasses and the only kid with blood sugar issues.
I am telling you this because I think I found my birth sister. Her name is Norah.
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There is some resemblance, don’t cha think?

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Sorry about the sloppy photo editing. I had to try and cover up my big pink bra….Norah was not showing hers so I could not show mine. I NEED PHOTOSHOP PEOPLE, it has a wonderful smudge tool.