Mmmmmm, cookies.

I have to tell you that I was offered a homemade chocolate chip cookie with nuts today. The chocolate chip w/nuts is my favorite cookie.
I turned it down.
Yea me! I have not won the battle, but I am in the trenches fighting.
Also, I threw away all of the extra fortune cookies we had from our recent PF Changs take-out order.

Victory will be mine.

In other news:
I am suffering from Post Potter Depression (I am officially coining that phrase). I have already seen the new movie and I have read the most recent book ages ago. Who knows when the next one will be out. I don’t know what I will do when the series is over. Ok, that last statement was a bit pathetic.

I am still reeling from the Walk The Line movie. Anytime Johnny Cash is on TV, I am glued to it. I think I will pick up his autobiography.

Does Lost come on tonight? I hope so. I need some mindless tv time.

Right now, I am posting this useless blog entry so that I can continue to procrastinate. I have a paper due tomorrow and I am only half way finished. Bleh!

Tell us the purse story, Sarah!

the purse

Gather ‘round kiddies for a true story featuring Sarah’s absent mindedness. This morning, I arrived at school at about 7:00. I parked in a public pay lot and started thinking about getting a coffee from starbucks. As I exited my vehicle, I noticed a crumpled up paper bag on the floor board. I picked it up, gathered my book bag and purse, locked the truck, and went to the trash can that was located on the near by sidewalk. I tossed the paper bag and took off for Starbucks (“tra-la-la-fiddle-dee-dee, I want a sugar free hazelnut coffee”.) I get to Starbucks, located a block away from where I parked, and approached the counter. Before I order, I always have my wallet ready. I like to save time that way. So I go for my purse to get my wallet and OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…..I did not have my purse! SHIT!
I am thinking of the three possibilities that could have happened:
1. I dropped my purse on the way to starbucks. Unlikely.
2. I left my purse in the car. This would suck because my keys, wallet, and phone were all in my purse. But, the purse would have been relatively safe.
3. I threw my purse in the trash along with the paper bag.
Guess which one it was?

I ran back to my car as fast as my rolling bag would allow (picture me running with a rolling bag…it’s good for a laugh). Panic was setting in. Palms were sweaty, mom’s spaghetti…
I am scanning the street for my bag the whole way. Nothing.
I reach my car and glance inside….not there.
Two steps later, I am at the trash can…
IT WAS SITTING THERE AMONGST THE PILE OF GARBAGE!!!
Wa-hooo! I got lucky.
The end.

In other news:

I am a cookie crumb away from checking myself into a rehab program for my cookie addiction. I have had chocolate chip cookies for three days in a row now. The madness must stop here. I am going to just say no to cookies for a while. Please do not offer me any. I will be relying on your support.

What I have been thinking about

It bothers me that I was a little sad when hearing that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are getting divorced. Why should I care? Why should any of us care? Maybe because they exposed their marriage on MTV for us to all ohh and ahh over. Maybe it is because I am married and I don’t like to think of people divorcing. Maybe it is because I think Joe Simpson may possibly have a hand in this. Again, it bothers me that I am even wasting brain waves on this shit. All in all, their relationship was probably more about the wedding than the marriage. Ah to be young and in Hollywood. Any takers on who Nick will date next? A porn star, maybe? How about a nice girl next door type. I hope that he ends up with someone who knows that tuna is not made of chicken.

And what about these stupid dating shows? Specifically, the one on MTV where there is a bus load of guys or girls waiting in line to date the same person. I think it is called NEXT. The contestants introduce themselves with “witty” one liners such as: “HI, I am Alysha and this guy won’t next me cause I’m a classic BEAUTY with a classic BOOTY”.
Can you imagine if they did the same show with a bunch of 40 year olds? HAHAHAHA!
“ Hi, my name is Tina and this guy won’t next me because I can do his taxes and show him my ASSets”

I talked to a drag rat today. He was really nice. It took him a month to hitchhike here from northern California. He says he will have to leave soon because he got into a fight with another drag rat and was arrested for it. Now, he has a court date coming up and he will not attend because he has no money to pay the fee or whatever. If he stays, he will end up in jail. I gave him thirty five cents. The best part was that he did not stink. Good for him.

I only have 19 to go until the semester is over. Better yet, I only have 4 class days left. Wa-hoo! I can smell the gimlets waiting for me!

Capitan Pounce Jenkins

I have no new pictures to share with you, so I offer you this picture of a very cool cat. ( The cat belongs to Dale’s old roommate, Cody.)

I have been ill with the congestion and the what not, so there is nothing much to say. All I have been doing since Thursday is sleeping.

Thanksgiving at my Mom and Dad’s went over smoothly. Nothing much to say. It was good to see the family.

Really, this post is boring. I don’t know why you even stopped by. Hopefully, I will feel better soon so that I can think of something good to stick up here.

Somebody bring me some day-quil.

Movie Day

Dale and I just got back from seeing WALK THE LINE. Bitches, this was a GREAT movie. I think that it is a must see on the big screen. It is a big movie, with big music and big personalities so see it on the big screen. See it at the Alamo, if you are in Austin, so you can enjoy a beer while you watch Johnny Cash have a beer. But don’t take the pills that he takes in the film. Just say no.
Later tonight, at 10:10 to be exact, I am going to see the new Harry Potter flick.(that’s right, two movies in one day.)

I already know it will be awesome. The Goblet of Fire was/is my favorite Harry Potter book. I mean, come on! The Tri-wizard tournament kicks that ass. It kicks it…that ass.
I am about to leave for the library (PCL) where I plan on writing the bulk of a term paper that is due this Tuesday. I am not looking forward to it at all. Yuck. Once it is complete, I will be filled with joy. Until then, I will be filled with dread.
My shoulder/upper back muscles have been sore for three days now. I think I am carrying the stress up there. It hurts.
Maybe I will have a butter bear at the Harry Potter movie.
See ya later.

Hello, again, hello...........

I had a hell of a Tuesday. I got to school at 5:45am and left after 8:00 pm (I know, you have heard me bitch about this before). I had a test to take and a bunch of clinic assignments due. I was exhausted beyond belief, both mentally and physically, by the time I got home. I opened up my e-mail to find that there were three different messages from friends. Each one on these friends, in their e-mails, told me that they were thinking of me.
I really needed that.
I didn’t know that I needed it, but I did.
So thanks, friends. You know who you are.

A now for something completely different….
Has this ever happened to you, cause it always happens to me:
I will be driving around listening to the radio, right? So I start flipping through the stations trying to find some good music and end up stopping on a tejano station. I usually stop there when/because I have to take my hand away from the radio dials so that I can switch gears. Why do I have to switch gears when the radio is playing tejano music? I don’t know. Anyway, I stop on the damn station and then I forget about it. I’ll be driving around, paying attention to the road and the voices in my head, and the crazy tejano music will be playing in the background. Eventually, I come to my senses and realize that Jamie Y Los Chamacos are blaring from my speakers.
Weird.

Are you sick of this yet?

This is me entertaining Jeff with my impersonation of that creepy gal from the ring.



“I don’t care how much you crotch itches, I am NOT going to scratch it for you”

Straight from the pages of GQ


Somebody’s been naughty


Dabner will dance with you even if you are not dancing with him


Dale climbing the scaffolding


Gas face


Getting’ busy


HAHAHAHAHAHA!


I need another drink


DOH!


Finally, the last of the Halloween pictures


Thank you for being patient with me as my blog has been taken over by Halloween. You guys should not be surprised because you all know that it is my favorite holiday. But it is over, and has been for quite some time. I must move on towards different subjects.
Who knows what subject the blog will cover next. I just have to wait for the inspiration bug to sting me. Right now, I got nothing.
I hope I don’t get stung in between my toes. That is a really crappy place to be stung.
C-ya.

The last halloween post

A comment from my previous post:
Anonymous said…
Please expand on the grl’s costume that looks like a sexy road worker…I would like to see another one of her.

Ok, anonymous. Ask and ye shall receive. This is a different pic of her. I cropped all the other people out so that you could have a little “alone time” with this co-ed.


Here are the rest of the best from Halloween night:

Dale will slap you (colin).


Danny buys a round of beers. Thank’s Danny.


Oops! Did I catch ya’ll at an awkward time?


Fucking Dale. He always makes me laugh!


There are several funny things going on in this picture.
1. The scary look on Danny’s face
2. Jeff blending in with the mural in the background
3. The actual guy that is part of a mural in the background
4. this gal rocked as Strawberry Shortcake (maybe not as funny as 1,2,and3)

This guy was dressed as the artist Bob Ross. You know, the “happy trees” guy.

Check out Danny flipping the bird.

I have no Idea why Danny had such a problem with this guy. He was harmless


In the limo

Hang in there

We are loosing Danny!

“aarrggh”

Classic


Singing some Poison


Coppin’ a feel



It started out so innocently

Things start to take a turn for the worse


WHAT THE HELL!

I still have bad dreams about this.


Cute

There has been a change in plans. I need to make one more Halloween post. THe last one will be shorter than the first two.
SOrry, I just have to get these pics out there. It heals my soul.
In other news...Grad school still sucks.
Good Day.

Pics, pics, and more pics

These are my favorite pics from the Halloween adventure.
I threw down some photo editing on some of them, like this one of J3ph:


“the blue surfer” –he borrowed Dale wig (my wig, actually)

What are you looking at Danny?

“Jack the Ripper’s next victim”


“The coolness of the cape”

I look like a 5 year old

“coolness of the cape part two”

My bartender at Chimmey’s. This guy was sooooo nice.

“an ode to back hair” (the beard and the back hair were all his)

It was only a hug

“Cleopatra’s love”

There is no good explanation for this. (he looks to be in a great amount of pain and I look like I am enjoying the fact that he is in a great amount of pain.)

“Death of a biker”

Dale took this pic (no kidding).

“Pamela’s sister”






This is a two-parter


“Who’s your mamma?”

Am I a giant or is Dina a dwarf?

“height differential”

A few people I don’t know:
I think colin will like these



Here is one for the ladies

Amen!

Here is another one for Colin

Prison Bitch

Ok, enough for now. I have some more pics to post from this series. Maybe I can show you them by the time Christmas roles around.

In the news of Sarah, school is kicking my ass right now. The projects, tests, and clinical work are all piling up. I really want to have a good thanksgiving break, but it looks like I may have to work through it. Oh well, I guess I won’t have time to gain the usual 5lbs during the food filled holiday. That's ok. I plan on packing on the pounds during the semester break thanks to the "liquid diet" I will be initiating. And by liquid, I mean alchohol. And by alchohol, I mean Vodka Gimlets.
My new Mantra—“It will be over soon”.

Toodles!

Halloween Dale (The curse of the wig)

Before I get into the story, take a look at these two kiddos

BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME EVER! (Thanks to Margaret for the pic)

Now, on with the story.
First let me say that Dale is one of the most gentle, kind, selfless men I know. He does not like to insult people and does not find it funny when others do it (which makes him a saint for marrying me).
But this can all change when Dale is under the CURSE!!!
So Dale has had a history of bad behavior when any of the following things are occurring at the same time:
1. Dale wearing a wig
2. Halloween
3. Wiskey
4. Beer

I first noticed this phenomenon years ago at Dina’s White Trash Party back in 199---something). Dale Drank some brew and Put on a wig. Fun was had by all until someone alerted me that Dale was sitting (almost passed out) on the couch slinging insults at anyone within ear shot.
Then, that same year at Halloween Dale wore a long red wig to go with his hippy costume. We were at a club and Dale soon turned nasty. We were having an argument when a bouncer approached us and politely asked if we would like to enter the costume contest. This guy was huge, BTW. Dale’s reply was something like this “Hey man, take a hike.” The guy did not hear what he said so Dale followed it up with “I said GETOUTTAHERE!”
Then there was the Halloween when no wig was involved, but the whiskey and beer were. Dale was dressed as a guy that got ran over by a car. I was a fairy princess. That was the year that Dale broke my wand. Oh yea, he snapped it like a twig with a smile on his face. That was also the year that I banned Dale from Halloween.
The ban was lifted last year and Dale went as Alex from a clock work orange. He was wigless and wiskeyless thus the night went off without a hitch. YAY DALE!

This Year, we had some issues. No wiskey, but there was the wig and the beer. Here is what happened.
Before the beer took it’s toll, Dale was chipper:

All smiles

He even borrowed Danny’s hat and glasses to pull off the Tom Petty Look:

“Don’t come around here no more.”

But soon, the wig and the alcohol proved to be too much for young Dale.
You can see the metamorphosis happen in this photo:


So Danny, J3ph, and Dale ( I think Danny was there) are all sitting in a booth at Chimmeys. I am not far away, waiting in line for the bathroom. These two young college girls dressed as devils approach the table and one looks at Dale and exclaims “ELVIS!”
Really? Cause he did not look like the King at all. What a dumb ass.
Without skipping a beat Dale shoots back “FUCK YOU!” in a loud, slow drawl.
The girl looked utterly shocked! She replied “FUCK YOU!” How original.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head. Then I noticed that the girls were with a guy, presumably one of the girls boyfriends. He walked up to J3ph and Dale and I swear I thought he was gonna throw a punch. But NO! This fella says “Hey, you guys got a light?” What a class act.

In Dale’s defense, the bimbo deserved to be cut down. I don’t know if an F-Bomb was necessary, but it sure did make J3ph crack up.
After that incident, Dale was back to his fun loving self again. I think he needed to release some of the crazy from his brain.

Here is what Dale and I looked like at the end of the night:

AWwwwwwwwww YEA!

The next post will most likely contain a series of the best photos from Halloween night.
Have a good Friday.

Cuts and Burns (go together like socks and shoes...for me anyway)

In a previous blog entry, someone left this comment:
“What’s up with the band aids?”

I cropped the picture this comment referenced to get a closer look at my band-aid ridden fingers. Now you look. YOU LOOK NOW!


As the picture explains, the band-aid on my middle finger is covering a burn (cigarette burn to be specific ---a casualty from being down town on a Saturday night). The other band-aid is covering a tender cut. This one is harder to explain…
I was trying to open a package and my hand slipped causing the fingernail on the index finger of my other hand to slice the skin of my index finger on the hand in the picture.
*whew.
Small cut, but boy did it smart.

Let me clue you in on a little factoid about me:
SARAH’S WOUNDS GET LONELY AND REQUIRE OTHER WOUNDS TO KEEP THEM COMPANY.

Don’t believe me?
Ya’ll best recognize!
Check this out.

Close to a year ago, I was cooking some vegetarian pizza. I had a little accident when I was trying to get the baking dish out of the oven. Here, see for yourselves:



Man that hurt.

CLOSE UP!


A few days past, and my burn became lonely. That is when the next injury manifested itself:

“Thanks a lot food processor blade”

I might not be happy, but the two wounds are (because they have each other).



I know you think I am crazy. It’s ok, so do the voices inside my head.
Tomorrow, I promise to tell the story of Halloween Dale (the cures of the wig).
I just had to get this one out of the way.
Ya’ll have a good night now. Sleep deeply, and dream of my injuries.
-Amen

First things first

I need to tell ya’ll about the trip to Lubbock and what happened when we got there. Then, I will tell you about Halloween Dale, (the curse of the wig).

I drove the whole way to Lubbock! Normally, Dale and I take turns but due to his ingested mixture of allergy meds and Dramamine he was out like a broken bulb.


“I am too sleepy to drive”.

I wanted to get to Lubbock fast so that the fun could start. Somewhere in Brownwood county, an officer let me know that I was trying to get to Lubbock a little too fast.

85 in a 70

He was super cool thought because :
1. although we have current insurance, we did not have proof of it with us. Johnny Law let us slide.
2. We had a break light out. Again, Johnny Law only gave us a warning.
3. Dale’s registration sticker has been out since AUGUST! The officer acted like he did not notice it was out.
If we would have been ticketed for all of the above, I would owe Brownwood county almost $500.00 (including the speeding ticket). YOWZA!

We finally got to Lubbock and, after some last minute costume shopping for Dale, met Danny at the Pour House (Lubbockites- it is where conference café once was).


We had a few beers, and Danny ate a few of these here Jalapeno poppers with rubbery bacon wrapped around them. Dale tried one but his sinuses, taste buds, and tear ducts alerted him that the seeds were still in the jalapenos making them VERY hot.

YOU GO DANNY!

We paid our tab and were finishing our beers when some dude approaches the table and asks if he can join us. I first noticed that he was quite drunk. He had a beer in one hand and a bourbon and coke in the other. We told him we were about to leave, but that he could stay there while we finished our beers. Then, I noticed something was wrong with his face………..
He told us that 4 dudes jumped him the night before………
I got up for a closer inspection and saw that the left side of his face was swollen and there were several abrasions on his cheek. His ear was caked with dried blood and the mastoid process (that bony protuberance behind your ear) was swollen as well.
His Jaw was defiantly broken, and we suspected that his ear drum was ruptured because he could not hear when I made sounds next to that ear.
Dude was seriously messed up.
We pleaded with him to go to the hospital. I think he was in a state of shock or something. He just kept saying how effed up it was. Then I noticed that he had blood on his shirt. I don’t think he ever went home after he got the crap beat out of him. The waitress came by and he tried to order another round. Dale intervened and told her that the dude needed to be cut off. Then, a friend of his came into the bar and I told her to take him to the hospital (which she did).
Damn! That was a long story.
The whole time that I was talking to the guy, I kept thinking…:I should take a picture of him for my blog”.
I did not do it though….I was too chicken.
Point of the story, weird people find their way to Dale and I on a regular basis.
The story of Halloween Dale, (the curse of the wig) will have to wait for the next post. This one is just too long as it is.