The cake must die!

Finally! All of the cookies, candy, and cakes are out of my house! You know cookies are like kryptonite to this gal, don’t cha? Especially home made cookies. I can resist cake, normally, but since I have been eating at least one cookie every day (it seems) for the past week I was afraid that the sugar cravings would hit and I would eat that cake with the enthusiasm of one of those starving children in Africa your parents always told you about.

Therefore, the cake is now in my trash out back.

Don’t worry, the cake did not go to it’s trash graveyard untouched. My parents brought it over when they came to visit and trashing their offering without sampling it would be rude (oh, and I really wanted to try a piece).



So I, along with a few of my family members, had a piece of cake to go along with our evening coffee.


The next day, I saw it staring at me from it’s counter top home. I grabbed that sucker and took it to the trash before the cravings had a chance to take hold.

And no, I am not like what’s-her-name from Sex in the City that ate her cake from the trash because she could not resist the urge to satisfy her craving for a sugar fix. Once it’s in the trash, it’s trash.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

A Christmas Story

After viewing the lights on 37th street, Dale thought it would be a good idea to stop in the Draught House for a night cap. We busted out the camera and began taking pictures. Dale used a setting that had a low flash and the pictures came out overexposed.


Yummy wine!


I have a dartboard emerging from my hat.


Cheers!

“people let me tell you ‘bout my best friend She's a warm hearted person who'll love me till the end.”

When it was my turn, I decided to use the setting that used a higher flash to eliminate the overexposure mess.










The flash was quite bright. Dale even said so but I went on merrily taking more photos. My camera is so cool! I am addicted! Plus, Larry was hamming it up for the camera and that is gold.

Out of nowhere, this drunk woman loudly says “Somebody tell her to stop. I am going blind!”

To which I replied, “Why don’t you tell me yourself? I can hear you!”

She shot back with some bullshit and I hit that ball right back to her. After a few rounds of verbal exchanges, I flipped her the bird and may or may not have called her a “stupid bitch.”

I made a big show of putting the lens cap back on my camera and stared at her for a few seconds more for good measure. When I was satisfied that she was done and that she was not going to get up, I looked at the other occupants of my table. Dale, Rachel, and Larry looked a bit shell shocked so I apologized to them. Dale said “I told you that flash was bright.” And he did but so what! It’s Christmas and that camera is my new toy! If I want to take a few pictures of my friends then so be it. Stupid lady!

Still, I am 31 years old and such behavior is not becoming for a woman my age. I know this. The red wine I was drinking was unaware of this rule, however, and so it was: The fight before Christmas.

Walking down 37th street

Rachel, Larry, Dale and I went to see the lights on 37th street. If you have never seen them, I suggest you do so. Here is a sampling of the “trippy light art” that you may see:

There are some political references-






One of my favorites:


Some strange animal and bug configurations:

I thought it was a fly. Somebody else guessed Lobster and I also heard somebody guessing that it was a frog. Who knows?


This calls for a close up:



Yes, that is a drunken deer driving that pickup with a penguin riding shot gun.







And the usual “junk” converted into awesome, creative, sparkling displays of the holiday spirit:







One of my favorites – “Whiskey River”



And another favorite- “Sock monkey nativity”


Hope you are having a great Christmas. I know Colin and Laurie are as they have recently been engaged to one another. Cheers to my good friends!

I am practicing

I have discovered Picasa 3 photo editing and boy is it fun. Today’s lesson: adding text to your photos.

Yesterday, I was at Walgreens and I saw the cutest Santa outfit. The outfit was for a dog so I had to buy it for Mr. Cooper. All they had were small and xs so I crossed my fingers and bought the small hoping it would fit over his barrel chest.

Well, lucky for Cooper, it did not fit. I ended up having to just hold it up to him to get a picture. Even though he did not actually have to wear it, he was still not pleased.











When he was little, he did not seem to mind wearing t-shirts and what not. Now, if I put a super cute Christmas sweater or a faux fur lined doggie coat on him he just sits there and refuses to move. I guess he is trying to tell me something.

Day one of my Christmas break is going well. I went shopping at Costco and in the words of my friend Jeff “the place was packed.” (yes, I know a lot of people say those words but there is a story behind Jeff saying it. He will know what I am talking about but you won’t ). The lines were outrageously long and everybody was….well, they were buying in bulk. First, I went to the self check out line because those lines were relatively small. I waited for a few minutes before I saw the sign informing me that cash was not accepted at self check out. I could feel the annoyance building as I began to search for a new line to stand and wait in. Well, things turned around for your girl Sarah as this nice couple in front of me allowed me to skip in front of them since I only had one item. When I left the store, I turned their good deed around by offering to take this dude’s shopping cart to the little cart space for him. I was going by it anyway and I could tell he just wanted to get the hell out of the Costco lot. Plus, there was a car waiting for his spot and a line of cars waiting behind that car. He was very happy about that and allowed me to do my good deed.

My next stop was at the thrift store where the cashier mistakenly gave me $5.00 extra in change. I gave it back to her because I am an awesome person. When I told her she gave me too much she said “are you sure?” and then re-counted it again and got it wrong, again. I re-counted it for her and she said “OH! You are right! I am so sorry!” I hope that lady does not make money mistakes very often.

Any-hoo, the moral of the story is that the nice couple at Costco bestowed their kindness upon me which put me in a good mood and made me do nice things for other people. What is that called? Paying it forward? Thank you, Haley Joel Osment.

I kick it root down, I put my root down

J3 sent me a nice little shirt in the mail. Actually, it was a bit big so I cut it up….Sarah style. I knew I wanted a photo shoot displaying the shirt for two reasons:
1. I got a new camera for Christmas and we wanted to play with it (Nikon D60).
2. I had to give my boy props for designing a cool shirt. The logo featured on the shirt is but one of his many designs. Have you visited his blog yet? www.therootdown.blogspot.com

First, we have to select some music for the shoot.

“Never let you down with the stereo sound”


“Bob marley was a prophet for the freedom fight
-if dancin' prays to the lord then I shall feel alright-
I'm feeling good to play a little music
Tears running down my face 'cause I love to do it”

I think the hula hoop is in order for a proper shoot, don’t you?



“And no one can stop this flow from flowing on
A flow master in disaster with a sound that's gone”




That is a jump shot.

While we are jumping….


How about over exposure?


I have no arms


“We're talking root down, I put my boot down
And if you want to battle me, you're putting loot down
I said root down, it's time to scoot down”

Thanks for the shirt, J3. You’re a charm.

---Lyrics provided by the Beastie Boys

O Christmas Tree

At the beginning of this month, Rachel, Larry, Dale and I went to the Elgin Christmas tree farm.


It is a really cute place. They take you on a hay ride to where the trees are a-growin’.



Oh yeah, Blossom and Cooper came along as well.
Here is Cooper enjoying the breeze.


You then walk amongst the trees until you find the perfect one.

Here it is.

Then, You borrow a saw from Larry:

(actually, the farm people give you a saw but Dale and Larry were sharing one because that’s what friends are for)

Next, you get down in the dust and saw that sucker down:


Here is my favorite part….the decorating:

What happened to my eye?

Voila!




I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this tree!

In other news:
School is out! I have a few weeks off and I am going to take full advantage of them. I need to catch up on my sleep and get a few projects started. I think the first thing I will do is to give Mr. Cooper a bath. He has missed his last couple of baths due to weather and laziness. Poor guy. Actually, I think he likes smelling like a dog.

We had our work Christmas party, today, at Gross Crab Shack. Oh, I mean “Joe’s.” Ew.

The cookies have taken over my life. I have no willpower. Resistance is futile.

The end.

A sample of gruyere with a side of feces.

Yes, I know the title is pretty disgusting but it's the truth. Read on.

You know what grosses me out at the grocery store? Those unmanned free sample displays. You know, the ones that are usually under a little plastic bubble lid…like that matters. Sometimes there is a hole in the lid that allows you to stick your hand in there and other times you have to lift the lid and grab the food with either your fingers or a toothpick.
They are often placed on the deli counter without any cover what so ever, just begging for people to sneeze and cough all over them.


There are three main reasons why free food samples are gross:

1. The clean toothpicks are often next to the dirty toothpick box. I have SEEN people grab a dirty toothpick, hopefully by mistake, and use it to spear a small square of ham. I have also seen people discard a dirty toothpick in the clean toothpick box. Ew. Can we say “mononucleosis?”

Watch where you put that toothpick buddy. I have a strong feeling you have a cold sore hiding in that mouth of yours.

2. People do not always wash their hands after they use the bathroom. When they do, they don’t always use the correct method. Ask yourself this, “do I always use a paper towel to turn the sink off?” If the answer is “no” then you are doing it wrong. If you answered “yes” then ask yourself this follow up question, “do I get the paper towel out of the dispenser before I start the hand washing process?” If you don’t, and if the dispenser is not an automatic/hands free device, then you are still doing it wrong. See, after you wash your hands you are canceling it out if you touch either of those items. YOU ARE! And don’t try and fight back with “what about the air dryer?” crap because those do more harm than good. Seriously, they increase the level of bacteria on your hands. I avoid those bad boys like the plague. Oh, and don’t forget about opening the door with a paper towel. Otherwise, you are probably picking up urine and fecal matter because the bozo before you did not wash their hands. Anyway, my point is that these people use the potty, don’t wash properly and then they sift through the tortilla chips that are on display. G-R-O-S-S! (P.S., how many times have you tried to wash your hands in a public bathroom only to discover that the hot water is not working? Plenty of times, I’m sure. That is why you should carry a small bottle of hand sanitizer with you).

3. How long has that dip been on display? Did somebody forget to change it out? Is it spoiled now? Am I going to get food poisoning? Not me. Not now, not never because I won’t touch that crap.

Having said all of that, I have been known to take a free sample at Costco if there is a person there monitoring the process. Said person MUST be wearing gloves and a hairnet, like this lady:


And yes, wine samples are always accepted. Always.

Everything Changes

This is the house I basically grew up in. We moved in when I was about 11 or 12 (or was I 10?) and moved out when I was a senior in high school. The house caught fire in May of 95’which destroyed the living room, kitchen, attic, dining room and back porch.
Obviously, it has been re-built and it looks the same…from the outside anyway.

I took this picture during my recent Lubbock trip and was shocked by what I saw. I’ll get to that in a second.

There once was a large cotton field next to my house. As kids, we would play dirt clod ward in it, using the trenches for cover, until the sun set. A big tree stood alone in the middle of the field and we would often hang out under it’s branches until the farmer would run us off. One time, we found a playboy magazine out by that tree. It was very old and covered in dust and it was the first time I saw a naked lady.


I like Vargas’s drawings much better than the vacuous poses of the playboy models.

I remember thinking that it was odd that people would buy these magazines…much like I thought it was odd that women competed in the Miss America pageant.

I don’t think playboy subscribers are odd anymore.
I still think Miss America contestants are.

OMG! My doggie just jumped in my lap for some cuddle time. So cute!

That is a picture of Mr. Cooper taken when he was a wee pup, engaging in the game “Frog Rodeo.” Good times.

Anyway, the field is now gone. It has been replaced by houses….cookie cutter houses at that. It was such a shock that it was suddenly gone. As I stared at the new subdivision, It felt like part of my childhood had disappeared……poof, gone.

I wonder if the developers built around that old tree?
Probably not.
That sucks.

How's your Qi?

Acupuncture is a technique of inserting and manipulating tiny needles into specific points on the body with the aim of relieving pain as well as for therapeutic purposes. The Chinese say that acupuncture points lie along channels (or meridians) in which the qi (pronounced Chi) flows. Qi, in a nutshell, is the vital energy that sustains all living beings. (ed note: when I first wrote this I accidentally typed "all living BEANS}

My Qi is all blocked up, friends. The flow is not a-flowin’ so to the acupuncture man I be goin’.


Listen, I know it sounds strange but there have been reports that acupuncture is better at relieving pain than pills and other types of therapy. I need something to work and I will try anything.

Yesterday, I tried acupuncture as well as acupressure and cupping.

The acupuncture brought forth different sensations. Some times, the needle would cause a warm sensation at the place of insertion and in my belly (which followed the meridian pathway from the point of insertion…cool). Other times, I felt nothing. A few times, I felt a “shock” and the Dr. would say “that is good.”

Let me back up a bit…
First, the practitioner (or Dr.) began with acupressure which is like a massage and that felt wonderful! Then, he moved on to the needles. He did my front first, placing the needles in my neck, shoulders, arms and legs. He left the room and let me relax for 20 minutes. He told me to sleep if I could so I could allow my body to maximally relax. I said “oh, I don’t think I’ll go to sleep………….snore.”

When he came back I flipped over and he put the needles all over my back, shoulders, arms and legs. I relaxed again but this time I did not sleep. I had a bit of a runny nose so all of my energy went into not letting my nose drip all over the floor because I had my head in one of those pillows with a hole in the middle.


After the needles, he said he would like to perform the cupping. Here is what that looks like:


Cupping is a method of applying acupressure by creating a vacuum next to the patient's skin. The therapy is used to relieve what is called "stagnation" in traditional Chinese medicine terms, and is used in the treatment ot back, neck, shoulder, and other musculoskeletal pain. A vacuum is created by air heated by fire in a glass cup placed flush against the patient's skin. As the air cools in the cup, a vacuum forms that pulls up on the skin, stimulating the acupressure effect.- thanks, wiki.


Let me tell you, that cupping felt soooooooo good. However, when it was over, I had these big red circles all over my body. As Dr. Wu put it, “you will look like an octopus gave you a hug.”

The pic is pretty poor in quality, but you get the point.

Here is a better one of some random person.


The bottom line is this, I went into the clinic experiencing moderate to severe pain and I left with only a mild sensation of pain. Today, the pain is back. Like any therapy, It will take time and more treatments for more permanent results to take hold. I hope it works. I am also going to start pilates or yoga after Christmas to help with the healing.

Mask

What do you do when you are with old high school friends, drinking wine, and you spot an unusual patio ornament?

You wear that bitch like a mask and have a photo shoot.


Me. You knew it from the curls.


Amy’s husband Will.


Clint


Will’s wife Amy




Masked


Unmasked

I seriously have a bunch more but I figured you would get bored. The mask does not really change facial expression. Kinda like Nicole Kidman

Girl is beautiful but she may want to lay off the botox.

Here is one of me, Amy and Adrianne. Adrianne had already gone home to her baby and husband by the time the masked adventures started.


And here is Will and Clint:


In other news:
My first acupuncture appointment is tomorrow. I hope eastern medicine can accomplish for me what western medicine has failed to do.

Thank you, voters of Austin, for giving me a raise! Woo-hoo! (when teachers get a raise, Sarah gets a raise)

I am bracing myself for the first sighting of the evil inflatable lawn decoration of the season. I truly hate those things. I am sorry if I have offended you and your taste in Christmas décor.

I picked up some sushi and movies for dinner tonight. Mmmmm…..Dale better hurry home before I eat it all and pretend that it never happened.

That is all….I said good day!